Unmemorable
I’ve always kind of thought of myself as unmemorable. Not distinct enough to lodge in anyone’s memory without having a significant interaction first. I almost always remember when I’ve met someone before, even if it was only for a second, and even if I can’t come up with their name. I always remember having met them. But I often pretend like I don’t remember to avoid seeming too eager. Because frankly, they usually don’t remember that they ever laid eyes on me. Unmemorable.
One time when I was about 11, I was at a friend of my mom’s house for some reason. Mom was visiting and I was tagging along I guess, and while they were chatting and I was getting bored, in walked this girl a couple years older than me (who turned out to be the friend’s niece). I recognized her immediately from the halls of school. I braced myself for the awkwardness that would come when the adults introduced us and asked if we knew each other. I’d remember her, she wouldn’t remember ever having seen me. I admitted that yes, I had seen her around school, and when the adults looked at her to see if she too recognized me, the girl smiled politely and nodded her head. I knew she was lying, she didn’t remember me. Unmemorable.
So it came as no surprise last night in class that the professor went around the room and recited everyone’s name from memory. Except mine. He had just met most of us two nights before in our first class, so I was impressed as he flew through the class with no mistakes. But somehow I knew, I could just tell that he wasn’t going to remember me. On Tuesday we had even had a conversation about my last name because he pronounced it right on the first try (nobody does!) and he wondered if I was related to a Ron he knew with the same last name (I’m not). But on Thursday, before he even got to me, I started to feel ashamed. I knew he’d slip up on me, and I knew that people would notice that I’m the only forgettable one.
Sure enough, he rattled off name after name without a problem, then he looked at me and paused. He scowled a little, pensively. Gosh I can’t remember your name, he said. Were you here on Tuesday? Am I really that forgettable? I teased, embarrassed. Is it Laurie? He wasn’t even close. I don’t even look like a Laurie. Shannon [Blank], I said, not related to Ron [Blank], remember? Oh that’s right, for some reason I didn’t remember you.
Unmemorable.
Robin Said,
May 9, 2008 @ 10:41 am
That’s so weird because I think you and all of your sisters have this distinct look, and that you always stand out! I look so average, and I feel totally unmemorable too!
Brad Said,
May 9, 2008 @ 10:49 am
That’s a pretty funny story, umm….whatever your name is.
angie Said,
May 9, 2008 @ 10:50 am
I think we are soul sisters. Seriously, things like that happen to me all the time, too. I’ve met several people that I completely remember meeting and they introduce themselves to me. I’m kinda bratty, though, and say, yes, we met at X, I think, but that was a long time ago. Even a guy I dated for a few months said he remembered the first time we met, and proceeded to describe our second meeting. I too am unmemorable. It happens. I think you’re probably like me, in that people don’t remember you until they get to know you. I call it “girl next door syndrome” because I have to be around enough to make an impression before people remember me.
willikat Said,
May 9, 2008 @ 11:59 am
i am also bratty and say, “yes, we’ve met before, remember? at the thing?” usually people are like “oh…right!” because people should be reminded to pay more attention. i don’t think it’s unmemorable thing necessarily… people can just be very not thinking about anything but themselves. people don’t remember me, either, and i interview them about their lives! and put them in print!
if it matters at all, i totally remember you.
Tripping Daisy Said,
May 9, 2008 @ 1:38 pm
I was just thinking the same thing about myself the other day…I am unmemorable. But even though we haven’t met in person, I would recognize you instantly on the street.
Jess Said,
May 9, 2008 @ 2:13 pm
Maybe with all of the coversation about the same last name, he forgot to make that mental note and put your face with your name. He was distracted.
I must not leave much of an impression myself. At the All College thing last week, I sat at a table with Rosemary. I have worked on numerous projects with her and she had no idea who I was. “Do I know you?” “What department do you work in?” “How long have you worked here?” “Really, that long? Why don’t I know you?” Oy.
Angela Said,
May 9, 2008 @ 6:48 pm
I had to laugh that you say you remember most people, but pretend you don’t remember them, for the likely chance they won’t remember you too. I am also very unmemorable, and have frequently run into people I recognize. I give a friendly smile, hoping to be recognized. No luck. Oh well.
conversemomma Said,
May 10, 2008 @ 9:48 pm
Well, I never forget you. I love coming by here for my daily dose of Laurie, I mean Jill, no uhhh, give me a minute ummm, I mean Shannon.
P.S. On a postive note, you could probably get away with robbing a bank. No one would remember your face. Then, you really could start that life of no work. Just saying.
*** Said,
May 11, 2008 @ 2:16 pm
Over the years, I have grown accustom to being the “What is your name, again?” girl. Once in a while, I think to myself “Damn, I wish I had the face or persona of a person who is remembered on sight,” but then I quickly revert back to my much appreciated, “unmemorable” self. The reasons having mostly to do with what you wrote about a while back… I like being the “not striking” girl (or “average” as I think you called it) because I almost always feel uncomfortable when noticed (although here, you were talking mostly about males and receiving uncomfortable glances/remarks). I much rather live a life of modesty, both in appearance and personality, and be remembered by those in which I WANT to be remembered (by being proactive about making some sort of connection with that person).
It is much better to be forgotten and live a life of “secrecy”, I think, rather than everyone always remembering you/your face/every move you make. I prefer having the option of being remembered. People who distinctly stick in peoples minds right away are usually the ones who are problems (everyone instantly remembers meeting the loud-mouth, ill-behaved kid(s) back in school, for example). It’s better to be good/nice/“average” and go unnoticed, rather than be remembered, but for unwanted reasons…
Aurora Said,
May 11, 2008 @ 5:36 pm
One of the things that is memorable about your site is your beautiful header photo. And your teacher… it’s not your fault he can’t remember your name! Hopefully he is better at teaching than relating to people.
Sarah Said,
May 14, 2008 @ 5:14 pm
This used to always happen to me. My maiden name was NEVER pronounced right on the first try. EVER. And the anxiety of roll call for the first couple weeks was always horrible because they never remembered the correct way to say it after weeks of correcting them. Somehow, with my boring blah new last name, they always remember?
Jason Said,
May 17, 2008 @ 2:18 am
You were always memorable to me, ME. Only Shannon will get that reference.
My computer is working again, so now I can leave comments.
Heather Said,
May 20, 2008 @ 6:28 pm
Been there. Totally ordinary always forgotten nobody. On the other hand, I am horrible at remembering names. I never pay attention when someone is being introduced.