We don’t have any kids, and don’t plan to for quite some time, yet Brad and I find ourselves having numerous conversations about how we would raise them if we did. These range from “Do we spank them?” to “Do we ban them from the Wiggles even when they beg?” We of course have no idea what we’re talking about and fully expect to eat our words when we really do become parents, but we discuss these things nonetheless. So as you’d expect… ’tis the season for the “Do we tell our kids about Santa Claus?” conversation, which took place just the other night.

I wouldn’t say that we totally disagree on this topic, but we didn’t exactly see eye to eye either. Let me break it down.

My thoughts: There’s no hiding Santa from a child. The red-suited man is everywhere, so why even try to deny him? However, the spirit of Christmas is not about Santa, and it’s not about obtaining mountains of wordly possessions. It’s about love and togetherness and baked goods. Therefore, though our kids will inevitably know about this Santa character, I don’t believe he should be the giver of gifts in our house. We’re the parents and because we love our kids, we will give them (meager) gifts. Not some stranger called Santa.

His thoughts: Yes the spirit of Christmas is love and togetherness, but one important part of that is making people happy with gifts. Kids love Santa and want him to come down their chimney, eat their cookies and leave them stuff! Our kids should get at least one present from Santa, otherwise they’ll start asking why he goes to every house but ours, and I’ll have nothing to say except, “Santa doesn’t come because your mommy hates him and won’t let him in our house. It’s her fault, son.”

That conversation lead, or perhaps was a small part of, another much larger issue: the act of gift-giving. Now I’m a fan of giving gifts and I don’t mind receiving them either. But I think during this time of year it gets a little out of control. Everything revolves around shopping, spending money, and wowing people with presents. Advertisers lead us all to believe that our kids will hate us if we don’t buy that $600 Playstation. Our relatives will never invite us over again if we don’t buy them each a unique gift. And none of it really counts unless we’ve stood in a crowded line at 4:30am, beat down an old lady and trampled a child to obtain these things.

I resent that. While my family has always exchanged gifts, my parents also taught us that sometimes less is more. Some years we’d all go shopping for another family that otherwise wouldn’t have gifts, and on Christmas day, instead of wading through a sea of big ticket items, we each opened a small present or two.

That is what I want to pass on to my kids. They deserve the joy of unwrapping a gift, and I hope I can provide that for them, but more importantly I hope I can teach them the value of things beyond material possessions. And for the most part I think Brad agrees with me. He’s still a boy at heart who loves to receive toys on Christmas, and he wants to see that same excitement on the faces of his children (even if Santa is the giver apparently). But he didn’t roll his eyes when I sent him this image “in the spirit of our recent conversation”:

Instead he simply replied, “How appropriate.” Yes, how appropriate indeed.