At Walmart yesterday the u-scan cashier told me I could write my name on a blue piece of paper and they’d hang it on the wall if only I’d hand over a dollar for some local charity. My name on a piece of paper? Really? I had a single, so thought what the hell. I figure I did my good samaritan deed for the day. The week maybe?

I stopped at Arby’s on the way home, but nobody told me that they were short-staffed or maybe had a fryer out, and that I’d have to wait in the drive-thru line for over 15 minutes. And it was one of those lines where they block you in, so even if you decide you want to bail on your curly fries, you can’t! You’re trapped suckah!

While I sat there, white-knuckling the steering wheel and comtemplating whether or not to slam into the car in front of me and end it for both of us I just want my marketfresh sandwich please!, I was suddenly aware that the radio was on when I heard “Uh oh! M-O-R-N-I-N-G-W-O-O-D” The letters raced through my head again..m o r n i n g w o o d oh my god did they just spell morning wood! Holy shit I think they did. Wait here it comes again. M-O-R-N-I-N-G-W-O-O-D. Oh my god they did, they said morning wood.

So has anyone ever heard this song? If so, what the fuck dude?

About the radio, by the way. Sometimes I listen to the worst music just because I’m too lazy to switch the station. Not lazy really, just so sick of flipping through the whole dial and finding nothing worth stopping on. B bought me that beautiful CD player for christmas, and I love it. But my arms are short and my CD book always ends up in the far corner of my backseat where I can’t reach it when I’m driving. So after the third rotation of the same CD, I sometimes try the radio. And it’s usually a mistake. See above for verification.

PS…HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA JEAN ROOKERS!