The bad news is I have gestational diabetes.
The good news is it's not something much worse.
When I failed my first glucose test, I wasn't surprised. I failed with Mo, too, but passed the longer test. I decided if I failed this time and was diagnosed with GD, it was fine. With my struggles to conceive and my past losses, and with knowing people close to me who have been through hell when it comes to pregnancy complications, diabetes seems like nothing. I'm thankful for that perspective.
However, let's be honest. It kinda sucks. When I first got the diagnosis, five days ago, my concerns were as follows:
- Great, now I'm at greater risk for diabetes later in life.
- Crap, I have to prick my finger four times a day (blood draws and shots in the arm I can handle, but finger pricks make me queasy).
- What the heck am I going to eat?
I wasn't terribly concerned about my health or the baby's during the pregnancy, I figured I can manage it with diet, and if not, insulin. But then I started researching what a diabetic diet looks like, and I realized this might be tougher than I thought.
I don't meet with the dietitian for another week and a half, and I'm sure I'll learn a lot more then, but my initial research has taught me that carbs hide EVERYWHERE! All I can picture now is a life eating nothing but carrot sticks and chicken breasts for the next few months. I know it's not as restrictive as that, and I know I'm allowed some carbs, especially when eaten with proteins. But so far, in my mostly uneducated attempts to eat in this new way, there's one resounding thing I know:
LIKE, ALL THE TIME!
The problem is we don't have enough options in the house yet. I eat an acceptable lunch, and 30 minutes later I'm hungry. Yet I can't find a thing that seems appropriate and will fill me up. I munch a few carrots just to eat something, and 20 minutes later I'm hungry again. My appetite with this pregnancy has been greater than with Mo, and now I find myself looking around our kitchen as if it's a desert. There's nothing to eat.
I got really stressed about this over the weekend. I felt so unknowledgable and so annoyed and mostly SO hungry. Then I realized...
...some women don't even take their first glucose test until close to 29 weeks (I'll be 29 tomorrow)
...if I had been one of those women, I wouldn't even know yet that I had GD
...they obviously were in no hurry to schedule me for a consultation with the dietitian as it's set for over two weeks after the diagnosis (per their request, not mine)
...the nurse who gave me the diagnosis didn't give me any guidelines for eating, knowing I'd get those from the dietitian
So really, it's possible I wouldn't even know about this yet if I hadn't tested when I did, and nobody else seems terribly concerned about making huge changes immediately. So why am I driving myself crazy?
I decided to make as many good choices as possible, but not let myself be miserable with hunger. I'm counting on learning a lot from the dietitian and getting some concrete ideas about what to eat. If there's a problem once I start actually testing my blood sugar, then I'll fret.
For now, I'm having ice cream for dinner!
But I'm not going to feel guilty about that bowl of cereal I had when I woke up hungry at 2:00 last night.