I have three friends that had babies in early to mid January of this year. And if I wasn't already reflecting enough on where I was a year ago, those births sure amped it up. I'm obsessed with knowing how they're doing, knowing if it is for them what it was like for me in those newborn days. I try to keep my distance and not overwhelm them with questions because I know how difficult the early days can be, but I eat up any glimpse they give me into their lives.
A few times a week I look back at the journal we kept last year. Most of it from the early months is a log of feedings and naps, but it fills my head and heart with so many memories. I look at photos we took in the month following Mo's birth, and she is so tiny and I look wrecked, and my god that was an emotionally trying and amazing time.
Becoming a mom has been one of the most profound experiences of my life. Surviving the newborn phase challenged me (and us) in ways I didn't expect, and we created a bond as a family that I believe will last for a lifetime and will, hopefully, get us through any challenges we might face.
This last year ticked by much faster than I was ready for, but watching Mo grow and change and learn, and knowing she is MINE and I get to keep watching her grow and change and learn hurts my heart in the best way.
I know how lucky I am to have her. I know not everyone gets the child(ren) they want, and not everyone gets a healthy child, and not everyone gets to enjoy their kids without struggling through impossible situations. I'm sure I can't fully appreciate what I have without experiencing some of those things, but I try to focus on my fortunes every day.
My baby. My word, how did I get so lucky?