Week 25

Today I had a doctor's appointment. I was able to tell her how paranoid I am lately, and she, of course, was very reassuring. My blood pressure was good, I'm measuring spot on, the heartbeat was a good 156 bpm. I got a few answers about some specific concerns I've had, pains and such. I asked a few questions about preparing for the birth (eg: Can my husband and my mom be with me? Yes.), I got a flu shot, and I was out. 

I'm so thankful for a positive appointment, I can't even express it.

So here I am at 25 weeks. (In case you think I'm trying to be mysterious, I do the blank space before the photo so that anybody who is trying to conceive and is sensitive to baby belly photos has a chance to click away.)

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WEEK 24: Size of a Head of Cauliflower

Sometimes I look at that belly and I'm not convinced I've grown much. I'm a curvy lady, and it's kind of like another beautiful curve that fits right in. So today I looked back at Week 7 to compare:

Oh yeah, that's a baby bump! I'm even wearing the same pants for easy comparison. 

Here's what I looked like a few days ago when I got my very first comment about the belly without having to tell anyone I'm pregnant:

I think maternity clothes help make it more obvious.

I've still been extremely stressed lately. Just about every night I have some sort of breakdown because I'm overwhelmed by...everything really. Work is so overwhelming right now, and I need our house to be a place of peace. But instead it's a fucking mess. The baby's room has become a disaster of a project, there are so many little projects we have to get done by winter that we just can't seem to make progress on, and I can't believe how many boxes are still unpacked and how much clutter there is everywhere. 

I can feel my anxiety rising just writing about all this. I need to stop.

Comments

[Nanette]

You look AWESOME! And adorable!

Sending calming thoughts your way. xoxo

[Kira]

When I was pregnant (both times) I became this alternate version of myself. My tolerance for BS went out the window. I lost a lot of my social "filters." On one particularly bad day, I told my boss at the time to do his job (because, by my lights, he was not). (I did not get fired, but... good grief.) That's all to say that you are not alone, and you are not the first pregnant woman to feel overwhelmed and a little crazy. The back-lit, serene photographs on the pregnancy pamphlets lie the chaos that is bringing a new person into your home and into your life.