Week 24
Friday, September 21, 2012 at 09:08PM As usual, fair warning of a belly shot. Click away if you're not up for that sort of thing.
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WEEK 24: Size of an Ear of Corn
It's hard to be happy this week. A friend, one who was also pregnant, experienced pregnancy-related tragedy late last week. I alluded to it in last week's update, but things got even worse since then. Like, heart-breakingly worse. It's not my story to share, it's hers, so I won't go into details. But it has made me look at this pregnancy in a whole new light.
I was always aware how fortunate I was and how fragile this whole thing is, but this has brought it all into stark, blinding light. Suddenly nothing but a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby seems to matter. The nursery doesn't matter, what we name it doesn't matter, the photos we take don't matter. Even the things I wasn't doing or worrying about seem even more pointless. Adorable gender reveals, maternity photo shoots, buying excessive baby wardrobes. It's all just frivolous.
I'm sure my attitude will change because I really do want to enjoy and cherish this pregnancy. In all liklihood, it'll be my only one. I want it to be fun rather than cloaked in worry and guilt, but today that's what I'm feeling.
Children
Reader Comments (4)
You look so darn cute Shan! I need to see you and that beautiful baby bump soon. I miss you! Lots of love
I get that guilt thing. And sometimes I just feel guilty for myself a year ago. How messed up is that?
Congrats on 24 weeks! You're officially in the "viability" spectrum!
PS-I love how you warn us that belly pictures are coming like you're going to show us something horribly offensive instead of you being adorable with produce.
Haha... well I do it because when I was struggling with getting pregnant, adopting, ectopic pregnancies, all that, seeing belly pictures was really hard for me. So I'm super sensitive to anyone who might be reading who is struggling. They may be interested in my blog, but not in seeing BAM! a baby belly in their face. So I just give them a moment to click away before being confronted with it.
I've been doing it every week so it feels a like I'm trying to be mysterious. Like, drum roll please! But it's just a sensitivity thing I guess.