Lo these many things
Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 07:12PM I told someone today that it's all becoming too much. Life, that is. Mostly work. Work is becoming too much. I can't write about it here, but the short of it is that my counterpart at work left in January and I absorbed most of her work without losing any of my already full workload. That was eight months ago and nothing has really changed. We are finally able to bring on some help, which will be a huge relief in a few weeks when it actually happens, but right now I'm hitting a wall. I just can't stay on top of it all anymore.
And I'm trying so hard to enjoy this time, these nine short months that I'll be pregnant, and it's hard because so much of my time, energy and focus is on work. By the time I'm able to stop and enjoy this, the baby will already be here.
There are a few things we have managed to make a little progress on though:
- We have started to gather baby gear. My two sisters with kids have generously shared many of the things they no longer use, and we started a registry to keep track of everything else we need. For all you moms and dads out there, is there anything we absolutely cannot live without? What might I not be thinking of?
- We've finally started reading books. Mike is reading The Birth Partner, and I plowed through The Happiest Baby on the Block, Belly Laughs, and Birthing from Within. I have a stack of other books I've borrowed that I plan to get through, as well. What else should I be reading?
- I called today and got us enrolled in a comprehensive childbirth class through the hospital I'll be delivering at. They scheduled us for a December 1 class, which is not that far off, and only a little over a month before my due date. Holy crap! We're also considering infact/child CPR and a breastfeeding class. What do you think, worth it?
- I started a prenatal yoga class, which I'm so happy about. I need that outlet for so many reasons, and if it can help me feel stronger and calmer about childbirth, all the better.
Unfortunately, that list of accomplishments pales in comparison to the list of stuff yet to be done. A few among those many things include: find childcare, pick a pediatrician (or other doctor), figure out my maternity leave, figure out our birth plan delusional idea of an ideal birth experience (including possibly hiring a doula), do a hundred thousand things to get the baby's room (and all accoutrements) ready, and narrow down some damn names!
What else should we be doing or thinking about? We've never done this before; we need help!
(Also, I know I write about the comments I get about not looking pregnant, and it's getting old, but I feel like I have to share them just so you know how frequently this happens. Today I saw someone who knows me, though not well, through work. She asked if I was going to a particular conference in February and I said no, I'm having a baby in January, so probably not a great idea. She looked at me and said, "Oh my gosh, I didn't even notice! You can't even tell!"
How funny that I'd turn out to be too small rather than too large as a pregnant lady. The other day I was telling a friend that I promised myself I wouldn't get upset about how huge I got or offended by any comments about said hugeness. I'm so happy to be having a child that I don't care what I look like, as long as I'm healthy. I was prepared to be a whale. But who knew I'd have to deal with not looking pregnant enough!)
Children
Reader Comments (6)
I'm thinking that as part of your quest to enjoy the pregnancy experience you need to send Mike on a LOT more Taco Bell runs. And if he wants to swing by my house too, I would be all over that.
The Taco Bell, I mean, not Mike. Not that he's not an attractive guy, I mean...shit, let's start over again. Hi, my name is Stephanie, and did you just swallow a basketball or are you wicked preggers?
Miracle blanket, which is a velcro-free swaddling blanket/baby straightjacket. Both of my kids lived in the miracle blanket for the first several months, and it helped us all get some sleep.
Also, re: "You-don't-even-look-pregnant" comments... When I was eight months pregnant - waddling, couldn't see my feet, wearing whatever tent would cover up my belly eight months pregnant - I had several people comment that I was "barely showing." I wanted to punch them in the face and then quickly be swallowed by the earth. I usually just stared slack-jawed for a minute and then said, "Well, either I'm pregnant or I have a really active tumor." Ha. Ha. Ha. (I may have gotten a little sarcastic in my delicate condition.) Hang in there!
I second the Miracle Blanket. As far as classes ... I was disappointed in my breastfeeding class because the bulk of it focused on the advantages of breastfeeding (as opposed to how-to and troubleshooting info) and the minimal how-to info was so broad and abstract-seeming at the time that it was of limited value when I was actually struggling with the nursing reality. It might be worth looking into what the class covers (beyond the website blurb) to make sure it's a good fit for the info you're seeking. A few appointments with lactation consultants that I had post-baby were totally worth it because they honed in on the exact info/help I needed at that time so I always suggest that people investigate their local lactation consultant options so they know who to call, if they need someone.
Hated the Miracle Blanket. We all love/hate different things, I guess. I just snooped on your registry, so here are my thoughts, based on my experiences: Never heard of that carrier, but LOVE our Ergo which looks similar. Wish I'd had a Rock n Play, I hear they're awesome! We got 4 gazillion blankets and bibs, and never registered for a single one. Literally my oldest received at least 25 blankets, and I just returned the ones my youngest got because we already had so many. The hospital will give you an aspirator to take home -- or 3. We have a hands-free foot pedal gate we love, as well as the retractable fabric one. Hated our glider and got a standard recliner this time around. SO much better while nursing in the middle of the night, because if you nod off -- and you will! -- you can be reclined and less likely to drop the baby (seriously almost dropped my oldest many times!). ... I'm assuming stuff you haven't registered for is stuff you have. Diaper pail? Stroller? Car seat? Swing? Bumbo? Bottles? Diaper Bag? Monitor? ... I'd add some of the non-fitted mattress pad protector things, and at least one extra sheet. It's nice to alternate fitted pad, sheet, pad protector, sheet, pad protector, sheet, so if baby spits up or has a blow out you can just strip a layer and not have to re-make the bed in the middle of the night. And speaking of spit up, we liked cheap cloth diaper prefolds for that -- super absorbent! We also got a CD player/alarm clock for the nursery, so we can listen to all the nice lullaby CDs. You'll want a dim lamp, if you don't have one already. And one frivolous mom product I love is the disposable multi-use pads -- great for changing your baby on someone's floor or a yucky public changing table, and we use them at home if things get, er, messy. ... My ultimate tip is to buy whatever you can used. Bouncy seats and activity mats, for example, are like $30-60 in the stores but I got both for $8 at Once Upon a Child. This stuff gets used for 2-3 months, suffers literally no wear and tear, and then is tossed aside. Why NOT buy used?!
Loved our childcare class, as it covered things like cleaning baby ears, bathing, umbilical cord care, circumcision care (if it applies), and things like that that were pretty foreign to us. The child birth class was meh, but kind of fun. We did the breastfeeding class, too, but I got sick about 15mins in and we had to leave. I wish I'd been able to stay for that because breastfeeding turned out to be absolutely dreadful for me. If you don't do the class, do take advantage of the lactation consultant help available. I've been supporting another friend (another Shannon, oddly enough) recently and my best advice is to try HARD to stick through to 6 weeks because somehow things REALLY change around that point. Breastfeeding is SO, SO, SO much harder than most women realize, but it can be really amazing and worthwhile if you tough it out and make it over that hump.
I say the CPR class and the breastfeeding class are important. I didn't take a breastfeeding class, but read some books, such a bad idea. I felt so confused and insecure that on the day I was to be discharged I broke down. I stayed one more night and got some coaching from the lactation specialist, so I say go for it Shannon.
Also, the 5 S's in the happiest baby on the block, SO WORK! My husband and I swear by it, so I highly recommended it.
I believe that many people who cannot tell if a woman is 100% pregnant do not say anything because if they do, and she isn't, it's humiliating! LOL I know once I "popped" I started getting all the "when are you due, what are you having?" comments.
Hang in there before you know it you'll be holding your little one and all will be right in your world.
You will get lots of contradicting advice and things to consider from people. I'm just warning you! It is terribly frustrating.
We took the childcare class and felt like it was a waste of time. We also took the labor & delivery class and overall felt it was a bit ridiculous but it was helpful for me in terms of setting expectations.
Before you leave the hospital, the nurses will show you how to do the basic things you need to do to care for your baby (at least they did in our hospital).
Also - we read "The Happiest Baby on the Block". The techniques worked for us (although we felt a bit silly yelling SSSSSSHHHHHHH to much). I highly recommend either getting one of those white noise sleep things (we had a bear that mimicked the sounds of being in utero) OR just download some MP3s with those same sounds (a coworker did this). AMAZING.