I told someone today that it's all becoming too much. Life, that is. Mostly work. Work is becoming too much. I can't write about it here, but the short of it is that my counterpart at work left in January and I absorbed most of her work without losing any of my already full workload. That was eight months ago and nothing has really changed. We are finally able to bring on some help, which will be a huge relief in a few weeks when it actually happens, but right now I'm hitting a wall. I just can't stay on top of it all anymore.
And I'm trying so hard to enjoy this time, these nine short months that I'll be pregnant, and it's hard because so much of my time, energy and focus is on work. By the time I'm able to stop and enjoy this, the baby will already be here.
There are a few things we have managed to make a little progress on though:
- We have started to gather baby gear. My two sisters with kids have generously shared many of the things they no longer use, and we started a registry to keep track of everything else we need. For all you moms and dads out there, is there anything we absolutely cannot live without? What might I not be thinking of?
- We've finally started reading books. Mike is reading The Birth Partner, and I plowed through The Happiest Baby on the Block, Belly Laughs, and Birthing from Within. I have a stack of other books I've borrowed that I plan to get through, as well. What else should I be reading?
- I called today and got us enrolled in a comprehensive childbirth class through the hospital I'll be delivering at. They scheduled us for a December 1 class, which is not that far off, and only a little over a month before my due date. Holy crap! We're also considering infact/child CPR and a breastfeeding class. What do you think, worth it?
- I started a prenatal yoga class, which I'm so happy about. I need that outlet for so many reasons, and if it can help me feel stronger and calmer about childbirth, all the better.
Unfortunately, that list of accomplishments pales in comparison to the list of stuff yet to be done. A few among those many things include: find childcare, pick a pediatrician (or other doctor), figure out my maternity leave, figure out our birth plan delusional idea of an ideal birth experience (including possibly hiring a doula), do a hundred thousand things to get the baby's room (and all accoutrements) ready, and narrow down some damn names!
What else should we be doing or thinking about? We've never done this before; we need help!
(Also, I know I write about the comments I get about not looking pregnant, and it's getting old, but I feel like I have to share them just so you know how frequently this happens. Today I saw someone who knows me, though not well, through work. She asked if I was going to a particular conference in February and I said no, I'm having a baby in January, so probably not a great idea. She looked at me and said, "Oh my gosh, I didn't even notice! You can't even tell!"
How funny that I'd turn out to be too small rather than too large as a pregnant lady. The other day I was telling a friend that I promised myself I wouldn't get upset about how huge I got or offended by any comments about said hugeness. I'm so happy to be having a child that I don't care what I look like, as long as I'm healthy. I was prepared to be a whale. But who knew I'd have to deal with not looking pregnant enough!)