The hunt for the elusive watch battery
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 at 09:40AM First Attempt
I tried Kohl's because it's minutes from where I work. I approached the jewelry counter and luckily someone was there finishing up with another customer. I asked if they sold watch batteries. Yes. I showed him my watch and asked if he had a tool to remove the back so I could change the battery. No.
Sales Associate: We can't do that because we don't sell that brand here.
Me: Really? You can't just take the back off for me?
SA: No, because if we break it, we're liable for the watch.
Me: Well, I've had it for years, I'm not too concerned. Can you try?
SA: I'm sorry, no.
Me: Well can you give me the tool and let me do it?
SA: No, I can't do that.
Me: Can you sell me the tool then?
SA: No.
Me: Can I sign a contract or something that says I won't sue you if you break it?
SA: I'm sorry, we can't do that.
Me: Look, this watch probably cost $20 when it was purchased eight years ago. It's not worth anything now. We're not talking about a diamond-encrusted Rolex here. This is ridiculous, can you please just take the back off?
SA: We don't sell that brand, so no.
Me: I don't even know where it was purchased. It was a gift. Where am I supposed to take it?
SA: You should go to a jewelry store.
Me: I'm not going to a jewelry store with my cheap old watch. That's stupid.
SA: I'm sorry, I can't help you.
Me: Fine.
Second Attempt
Next I drove to Target, half a mile away. Target is cool, they're not stupid like Kohl's. They''ll change my battery. And plus, I'll just lie. Someone saw me approach the jewelry counter and said they'd call for an associate. After ten minutes I got pissed and rang the service bell. Finally a nice young lady showed up.
Me: Hi, I need to change my watch battery.
Nice Young Lady: No problem [grabs the watch]. Oh I'm sorry, we can't change it here because we don't sell this brand.
Me: Are you sure? I got it as a gift (true) and they said they got it from Target (possibly true?)
NYL: No, we don't sell it here.
Me: Is it possible you used to sell it, like eight years ago?
NYL: No. We sell blah and blah and blah and blah and blah and blah...
Me: [Thinking: I really don't care what watches you sell. If you don't sell this brand and you won't change my battery, please stop talking.]
Me: Well do you have any idea who does sell this brand because I was told it was from Target, and if it's not, I have no idea where it's from.
NYL: Um, probably Kohl's.
Me: Yeah. Thanks
Third Attempt
By this time I was so angry I wanted to hurt someone badly. I was yelling at every car on the road and talking to myself about what bull shit this whole thing is. But I decided to try one more place. Meijer. For those who don't know, Meijer is a regional store that's similar to Super (with the groceries) Wal-Mart, only 150 times better.
I find the jewelry counter and immediately pick up the service phone to let someone know I need help. Then I wait. Forever. And while I wait, I look at all the watches. Oh look, Relic! They sell my brand. I'm so in. Just then, a slow but helpful woman approaches.
SBHW: Sorry for the wait.
Me: That's okay. I need to change my watch battery.
SBHW: Ok no problem. [Takes my watch and goes to work.]
Me: [Thinking, FINALLY!]
SBHW: I'm not actually supposed to be doing this since we don't sell this brand.
Me: Um... yes you do. They're right there. [Pointing.]
SBHW: Oh. Well, it's on our list of brands we're not supposed to work on.
Me: That doesn't make any sense. The places that don't sell this brand won't do it, and now you're telling me the places that do sell this brand won't either? Where is one supposed to get their watch battery changed?
SBHW: I don't know.
Me: Well thanks for doing it I guess.
SBHW: Sure, I was bored anyway.
Basically the only reason I got a new watch battery, despite my attempts, is because this woman was bored at work. What the hell kind of system is that? Also, this whole thing took me almost two hours.
And you may wonder why I'd insist on finding a battery for an eight-year-old cheap Relic watch instead of just buying a new watch altogether, right? Surely the money I spent in gas would have bought me something decent. But I don't know, I just love this watch. It's so perfect for me, and nothing else I've seen is quite as good. Witness:
It's not too feminine, not too masculine. Everything I see now is too girly or bulky or jazzy. Even though I wouldn't have been heartbroken if that Kohl's guy accidentally broke my watch, I also like this one enough to keep it until I can't anymore. Or at least until I happen to find something I love even more.
And just to reassure me that it was worth the battle, the universe sent a woman to me this morning to compliment my watch. "That's a really cool watch," she said. I showed it off proudly.
So Annoyed
Reader Comments (8)
I friggin love Meijer! Every time I go to Walmart I cry a little because it's not as awesome as Meijer.
Also I HATE when people tell me that something can't be done for liability reasons. That's the biggest crock of shit in the world, especially when you know that it's just being used as a nice way to tell you that they don't wanna.
LOL that is crazy to have gone through that, and I love Meijer too! I don't know what I'll do if I ever move too far to get to one.
What about DIY next time and just get a battery from Batteries Plus? I just did that for an old watch I just found in a box and it was almost painless.
You crack me up Shannon...
Funny (and frustrating) as heck! I could feel the steam rising from the screen. I would have had a tantrum until someone took pity on me. :lol:
You are very dedicated there! Steam would've been blowing out my ears.
That is watch loyalty right there. Because I would have given up.
I think JCPenney sells Relic.
Meijer employees will usually do things like that because they're always bored.
I understand.
I'd die if anything happened to my watch. It's the first watch I didn't have an allergic reaction to. (I have this weird metal allergy that requires me to have a bit more pricey watch - so another reason for this one to NOT DIE.)
And, as for Kohl's customer service, it sucketh major. That's all.
Why *didn't* you just go to a jewelry store??