Monday
Feb092009
How I failed at Asian cuisine
Monday, February 9, 2009 at 07:35AM
I was in Chicago this weekend, and my traveling partner and I tried an "eclectic asian café" near our hotel for dinner Saturday night. We picked Tamarind because this was going to be my first time really trying sushi, and I wanted the option to order off a non-sushi meu if needed.
To begin, my dinner date, let's call him the Giraffe, ordered hot saki. Since I try to be open to new experiences, I had him pour a little into my doll-sized cup. Before sipping it, I made the mistake of taking a whiff. This did not smell like anything that should be consumed. More like something you'd use to corrode metal. But I watched the Giraffe sip away at his, so apparently it doesn't burn away your esophagus. I held my breath and took a drink. And then I died. Well, almost. I managed to swallow the saki, and then I swallowed a whole glass of water. What the hell is that stuff? Seriously. Certainly nothing that was ever meant to be consumed by humans. At least not humans with taste buds. The saki was a failure.
After much toiling over the sushi list, we settled on the Aloha maki roll. Tuna, mango, avocado. Sounds good right? I grabbed a slice, popped it in, and chewed for about four seconds before a look of horror came over my face, and I mumbled "I have to get this out of my mouth." That's right, I spit it into my napkin. I'm nothing if not classy.
There were a few things that went wrong here. First, that is just way too much food in my mouth at one time. Especially foreign food with foreign flavors. I couldn't maneuver it around my teeth and tongue, and I hate that feeling. Second, the texture. I'm a big texture person, and something about the tuna and the rice was really not working for me. Third, while the flavor started out appealing, something quickly changed and without giving it another chew, I knew I had to eject that crap from my mouth. It was sexy - the Giraffe was trés turned on I'm sure. So the sushi was a failure (at least for me - the Giraffe ate the whole roll himself).
Next we decided to split an entree. Thai green curry with chicken. I have only ever heard great things about curry, and this was a night of new experiences, so I wanted to try it. Honestly, I really did like the flavor. Each bite started off deliciously. And then the fire set in. After finishing a small plate, I had to stop because I was pretty sure my lips had melted off. Why does good flavor have to be tainted with fire? Where is the joy in that? The Giraffe said it has something to do with endorphins, that's why people like spicy food. I guess my endorphin machine is broken because the (spicy) thai green curry was a failure.
I tried, I really did. But I failed at Asian cuisine. We ended up ordering crab rangoon at the end so I could eat something I knew I definitely liked. And by the way, it was the best damn crab rangoon I have ever had. I might drive back to Chicago tonight just to get more.
Also, on our walk back to the hotel after dinner, I steered us into a Baskin Robbins so I could get a giant Oreo flurry. I may be an Asian cuisine failure, but I'm a frickin' ice cream rock star.
To begin, my dinner date, let's call him the Giraffe, ordered hot saki. Since I try to be open to new experiences, I had him pour a little into my doll-sized cup. Before sipping it, I made the mistake of taking a whiff. This did not smell like anything that should be consumed. More like something you'd use to corrode metal. But I watched the Giraffe sip away at his, so apparently it doesn't burn away your esophagus. I held my breath and took a drink. And then I died. Well, almost. I managed to swallow the saki, and then I swallowed a whole glass of water. What the hell is that stuff? Seriously. Certainly nothing that was ever meant to be consumed by humans. At least not humans with taste buds. The saki was a failure.
After much toiling over the sushi list, we settled on the Aloha maki roll. Tuna, mango, avocado. Sounds good right? I grabbed a slice, popped it in, and chewed for about four seconds before a look of horror came over my face, and I mumbled "I have to get this out of my mouth." That's right, I spit it into my napkin. I'm nothing if not classy.
There were a few things that went wrong here. First, that is just way too much food in my mouth at one time. Especially foreign food with foreign flavors. I couldn't maneuver it around my teeth and tongue, and I hate that feeling. Second, the texture. I'm a big texture person, and something about the tuna and the rice was really not working for me. Third, while the flavor started out appealing, something quickly changed and without giving it another chew, I knew I had to eject that crap from my mouth. It was sexy - the Giraffe was trés turned on I'm sure. So the sushi was a failure (at least for me - the Giraffe ate the whole roll himself).
Next we decided to split an entree. Thai green curry with chicken. I have only ever heard great things about curry, and this was a night of new experiences, so I wanted to try it. Honestly, I really did like the flavor. Each bite started off deliciously. And then the fire set in. After finishing a small plate, I had to stop because I was pretty sure my lips had melted off. Why does good flavor have to be tainted with fire? Where is the joy in that? The Giraffe said it has something to do with endorphins, that's why people like spicy food. I guess my endorphin machine is broken because the (spicy) thai green curry was a failure.
I tried, I really did. But I failed at Asian cuisine. We ended up ordering crab rangoon at the end so I could eat something I knew I definitely liked. And by the way, it was the best damn crab rangoon I have ever had. I might drive back to Chicago tonight just to get more.
Also, on our walk back to the hotel after dinner, I steered us into a Baskin Robbins so I could get a giant Oreo flurry. I may be an Asian cuisine failure, but I'm a frickin' ice cream rock star.
Reader Comments (8)
Wow, I don't think I've commented in a while...sorry.
Sounds like you have a pretty positive attitude, despite the 3-fold Asian Cuisine failure. Sorry it didn't work out. I'm proud of you for trying, at least...trying new things is a pillar in my life. Hope the rest of the Chicago trip was fun. (I think I shall post about my sushi adventure as well.)
I HATE sushi! Hate! And whenever I tell people that, their reaction is almost always "WHAT??" like I had just cursed out their mother or something. Sushi... gross. Not for me. Asian seems to be fine (Chinese is great), but anything sushi related is a no!
Crab rangoon = phenominal
I am sure that after a meal like that, Baskin Robbins never looked so sweet!
By the time I reached the napkin spitting, I was laughing out loud. Really! Sorry, but it's fricking funny.
Sorry that you didn't like it. It would be fun to try, I think. I'm not sure I'd like it either. At leat you tried. You get total props for that!
Sushi isn't for everyone. Thanks for giving it a shot though...I had a great time. And you've never been sexier than when you were gumming over that sushi and ever-so-subtly sneaking your napkin up to your mouth.
There are probably better types of sushi for a novice to start with. Ones that are cooked, for instance--Cali roll, eel, shrimp. The dude used to not like sushi; I think you have to ease yourself into it.
I can't explain why spicy tastes so good, but it does to me.
I'll take you for some Asian eats. I agree you have to ease in. I can't eat a lot of sushi because I can't eat shellfish but there are lots of suuuuuper tasty Asian restaurants here (we have a very large, varied Asian population here so we have tasty restaurants!
I agree that sometimes spicy gets in the way of good flavor. It's terrible when that happens. We're not brought up to eat stuff that spicy, so it takes time to build up a tolerance. Just a little kick is all you need.
I was JUST going to ask you if "the Giraffe" knew about your blog yet, but I see that he does. :)
Also, I'm glad that you don't like sushi! I hate how everyone thinks its the greatest thing ever, and that there is something wrong with people that don't like it. I give you credit for putting the whole thing in your mouth though...when I tried it, I put a tiny piece in my mouth (because I was sure I was going to gag), and now I know for sure that I probably would have. Thanks. :)
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