Next please
Tuesday, September 9, 2008 at 01:49PM Have I mentioned lately that you guys are awesome? I keep falling down, and you guys just keep lifting me up. You had so much good advice yesterday that I was inspired to do something about my predicament. I called my doctor’s office and said I needed to get in this week, I didn’t care who I saw. Originally I was going to see the same PA who saw me about anxiety awhile ago, but I figured I’d meet with anyone if only it was sooner. So I have an appointment this week with a doctor I have never met. I called my mom, who goes to the same office, to ask her opinion and she says, "Oh yeah, he’s young. And hot!" So great. He’s a he. He’s young. He’s hot. And I get to tell him that I’m considering anti-depressants to deal with the anxiety and depression caused by my boyfriend breaking up with me. I’m sure that will only be a little bit uncomfortable seeing as he’s a male (in my adult life I’ve intentionally only ever seen women doctors), he’s young, and he’s hot. I know I should just think of him as a doctor, not a young hot guy. But in any other circumstance, I might be interested in a young hot male doctor, so how come I only get to meet one when I need to talk about depression and anxiety brought on by heartbreak?
Anyway, someone suggested I could ask my doctor for a referral to a therapist, therefore bypassing the whole employee assistance program (which a lot of you suggested). So I think I’ll ask the young hot male doctor about that as well, and maybe that will get me on the road to really coping with this major change in my life, with or without the meds (depending on what I decide to do). The counselor I saw last week told me that on average, people can only stay in crisis mode for about six weeks, then you can actually start to figure out how to cope. If I count from when I first hit rock bottom – about a week after the break up, when Brad sent that painfully honest email – it’s been just over six weeks. And I can tell. I can tell that I’m out of crisis mode and moving into healing mode.
I still cry. I still feel sad. I still have no idea what the hell happened or why. I still have a million questions. I still get hit with attacks of anxiety. And I still feel an incredible loneliness and emptiness that not even the best of friends and family, the sweetest blog readers, and countless keep-busy activities can fill. But I’m trying to figure out how to get better and move on, and I think that’s a good step.
Reader Comments (5)
Hey, maybe you and Young Hot Doctor will hit it off? :) That might help with the "healing."
In all seriousness, glad you got an earlier appointment!
oOoooo. maybe he will want to comfort you in your time of heartache.......that's not all bad.
Quit thinking of him as a young, hot doctor. Think of him as a medical professional who is going to help you. Nothing more. We don't need you being all bashful on the day of your appointment!
sounds like a couple of steps in the right direction...which is good!
try to think of him as just a doctor. he's trained to help you, that's his job. hopefully he's a sensitive guy and maybe he understands the deep effects of heartache. I hope you get what you need. try to be as honest as possible, even if it is uncomfortable...that's the best way to getting the help you need. good luck.
Thinking of you, babe, and sending big hugs.