Thursday
Nov132008
Putting it out there
Thursday, November 13, 2008 at 07:57AM
A couple months ago I mentioned to a friend that I thought I might be ready to start dating again before the end of the year, but that I worried it would be impossible to even find good people to date. At this age, everyone is either married, seriously involved or completely undateable by my standards. She concurred and added, "When you get to be our age, you kind of just have to put it out there. Tell everyone you know that you're interested and looking. It's either that or online dating."
I tried putting it out there, letting everyone know that they should inventory the single males in their lives and let me know if any might be of interest to me. Well, that was an utter failure. The most common responses were, "I honestly don't know any single guys. They're all married." and "I know single guys, but nobody I'd set you up with." I'm pretty sure that second one was a diss on the guys, not me. I hope.
One friend finally approached me and suggested a double date with her, her husband and one of their friends. I agreed. Then I heard nothing from her. I waited for about a week before saying Screw It! Finding decent single men in this town is impossible, how can I make it easier for myself? And these words rang through my head... "It's either that or online dating."
Online dating? Why the hell not? My goal right now is to enjoy being single, and I think a fun part of being single is dating. I'm not out to find the love of my life (though no complaints if that happens!), but I'm also not out to find another long-term relationship that dissolves into nothing. I either want to fall in love or I want to date around and enjoy myself. I've never really done the dating thing before. In high school I just had boyfriends, no dates. Through most of college, it was all just hanging out. I went on one date with Brian before it turned into a relationship, and I hung out with Brad "as friends" before that turned into a relationship. I've never done the "let's meet for drinks and see how it goes" thing. And now is the time, now I really want to.
So I signed up on match a couple weeks ago. I don't think I'll be discussing my dating life on this site very much, unless something gets serious. Or if I have a horror story I can't not share with you. I know some people write about their dating lives online, and I love reading about them, but at the moment it doesn't feel like something I want to write too much about.
But for now let me just say this: I am having so much fun.
I hope it continues.
I tried putting it out there, letting everyone know that they should inventory the single males in their lives and let me know if any might be of interest to me. Well, that was an utter failure. The most common responses were, "I honestly don't know any single guys. They're all married." and "I know single guys, but nobody I'd set you up with." I'm pretty sure that second one was a diss on the guys, not me. I hope.
One friend finally approached me and suggested a double date with her, her husband and one of their friends. I agreed. Then I heard nothing from her. I waited for about a week before saying Screw It! Finding decent single men in this town is impossible, how can I make it easier for myself? And these words rang through my head... "It's either that or online dating."
Online dating? Why the hell not? My goal right now is to enjoy being single, and I think a fun part of being single is dating. I'm not out to find the love of my life (though no complaints if that happens!), but I'm also not out to find another long-term relationship that dissolves into nothing. I either want to fall in love or I want to date around and enjoy myself. I've never really done the dating thing before. In high school I just had boyfriends, no dates. Through most of college, it was all just hanging out. I went on one date with Brian before it turned into a relationship, and I hung out with Brad "as friends" before that turned into a relationship. I've never done the "let's meet for drinks and see how it goes" thing. And now is the time, now I really want to.
So I signed up on match a couple weeks ago. I don't think I'll be discussing my dating life on this site very much, unless something gets serious. Or if I have a horror story I can't not share with you. I know some people write about their dating lives online, and I love reading about them, but at the moment it doesn't feel like something I want to write too much about.
But for now let me just say this: I am having so much fun.
I hope it continues.
Reader Comments (16)
Yay! Very glad to hear this. This is a far cry from Sad Shannon from a couple of months ago.
Remember: the only way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!
Shannon! That's the bomb. Can't wait to hear some good/funny stories :) You're awesome!
Yippee!! :) Great news to read! Best of luck too!!
Back in nineteen dickety two when I was "dating around" we had to use the newspaper and send letters back and forth, none of this convenient online stuff. Boy do I have stories. I hope you have fewer of that kind and many more that make you happy. Good luck
Wow, what a BIG step! I do hope you'll share some of your online dating stories, a la Dori of Strongly Worded. I always enjoy reading about her experiences, as she writes about them with such wit and humor. I think you would, too. :)
Sounds like lots of fun. I've had a couple of friends who have joined and certainly had some great dates!
Delurking to say that I met my husband through a blind date set up by a mutual friend... The first guy she set me up with was unfortunately in love with her, but for some reason I decided to let her try one more time, and that one stuck. :)
I'm glad that you're having fun!
Me too.
On top of that I feel like maybe I'm super picky? But I don't get how that is a crime. I'm not like Chandler and the girl with the big head.
I've been on eHarms for about 6 of the last 12 months (on and off) with no success (although I'm not trying my hardest).
I do wish you would tell us (me) how it goes. I need some motivation.
Yay! That's awesome. I did the online dating thing for a while, and it was definitely fun. You may end up with some "weird date" stories, but they're usually pretty funny.
You probably know by now that basically every date I've been on in the last 5 years has been with a guy I met online -- though not always through a dating-specific website. Some resulted in awesome, intense relationships and others into horrific, hilarious stories. You're the perfect candidate for online dating because you're open minded and level headed. :) Please share what you can!
Also, you should rent "Must Love Dogs" if you haven't already seen it. So cute.
Dude, you are so telling me stories if you aren't blogging them here. That is all.
And PS: didn't I tell you that you'd get here, sooner rather than later??? I am so proud of how far you've come!!!!
Thanks, Jen, for the shout-out! And yay, Shannon, for taking the plunge and having fun with it.
Yay! Enjoy it!
I did the online thing for a few months after I moved to Chicago. I quickly grew tired of meeting men in bars and wasn't interested in trying to date anyone from my job, so I went online. I met a few losers, met some interesting/fun guys, and then I met M! My best friend also did the same and ended up meeting her now husband.
I'm glad to hear you're having fun! :)
I have a few friends who did that... They enjoyed it. I can't think of anyone who found their one true love... but all had fun. :)
[...] a funny story. I signed up for Match last month, as you know, and Match has several different ways that you can find people. One of those ways is to do a [...]
dating can be lots of fun i think ~ hope you enjoy :)