Monday
Jun112007
You've come to the wrong place
Monday, June 11, 2007 at 05:26AM
I don't usually pay much attention to my stats for this website. I used to, obsessively for awhile, but it got boring and I realized it didn't really matter. Today though I happened to look through some of the search phrases that have brought people here, and I realized that some of my guests are definitely not getting the information they're seeking when they visit my blog. Here's a look at some of the dead end inquiries:
Hell if I know! I try to figure that out every single day, and believe me, I do not have the answer. I know what I do---get annoyed a lot, complain, ask for more attention, kiss, hug, encourage, laugh, bitch, and snuggle, among other things---but I'm certainly not the poster child for the ideal girlfriend. You'll definitely want to look elsewhere for that.
He gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring? Other than that, I have no idea. And I don't plan on knowing for quite some time yet. Check back in a few years.
Couldn't tell ya. Because... yeah that's not going so well. Quite a few people stop here in their search for a solution to overplucked eyebrows, so I feel kind of bad that I can't offer any advice. I considered posting a recent picture of myself for comparison, but basically my eyebrows look exactly like they did back in October:
I'm sorry, is it not clear that I'm a woman? I can tell you all about the female version of this exam, but I don't know much about what happens to the boys. I'm pretty sure there are no stirrups involved. Or speculums. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's much less uncomfortable and awkward than ours. So stop complaining.
Seriously? You want to see photos of this? Sorry, but I didn't bring my camera into the exam room last time I was there. Next time I'll try to remember, I promise.
Who the hell is Aristoteles?
Ah yes, good question. One I may be interested in someday depending on what we decide to do about the kids. Let me know what you find out.
Okay well, I've never tried that myself so you're not going to find any examples here. But I could pose for you if you're willing to pay me. I take cash, check or jelly donuts. You know, to keep up the fat rolls.
Yo, I don't wanna know either!
What do girlfreinds [sic] do in a relationship?
Hell if I know! I try to figure that out every single day, and believe me, I do not have the answer. I know what I do---get annoyed a lot, complain, ask for more attention, kiss, hug, encourage, laugh, bitch, and snuggle, among other things---but I'm certainly not the poster child for the ideal girlfriend. You'll definitely want to look elsewhere for that.
signs that your boyfriend is going to propose
He gets down on one knee and pulls out a ring? Other than that, I have no idea. And I don't plan on knowing for quite some time yet. Check back in a few years.
how long would overplucked eyebrow take to grow back
Couldn't tell ya. Because... yeah that's not going so well. Quite a few people stop here in their search for a solution to overplucked eyebrows, so I feel kind of bad that I can't offer any advice. I considered posting a recent picture of myself for comparison, but basically my eyebrows look exactly like they did back in October:
male genital exam.....what to expect.
I'm sorry, is it not clear that I'm a woman? I can tell you all about the female version of this exam, but I don't know much about what happens to the boys. I'm pretty sure there are no stirrups involved. Or speculums. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's much less uncomfortable and awkward than ours. So stop complaining.
photos of a pelvic exam pap smear
Seriously? You want to see photos of this? Sorry, but I didn't bring my camera into the exam room last time I was there. Next time I'll try to remember, I promise.
The first four books of the Metaphysics from Aristoteles
Who the hell is Aristoteles?
how to write initials for hyphenated last names
Ah yes, good question. One I may be interested in someday depending on what we decide to do about the kids. Let me know what you find out.
how to draw women with fat rolls
Okay well, I've never tried that myself so you're not going to find any examples here. But I could pose for you if you're willing to pay me. I take cash, check or jelly donuts. You know, to keep up the fat rolls.
mario i don't wanna know
Yo, I don't wanna know either!
in Just stuff
Just stuff
Reader Comments (4)
Well, I may be able to offer a bit of help. I've never overplucked my eyebrows, per se, but I have let them grow back so that they were fuller. Putting down the tweezers is a difficult task for those of us with a plucking addiction. (eh Shan?) But really, it takes 4-6 weeks to grow them in. Grab some eyeshadow that is a similiar to your brow color and use a small angled brush to help fill in the gaps while they grow in. No on will be the wiser.
And, now, Miss Shannon, your searchers will find one answer they've been looking for. =)
And if anyone has ever pulled out their eyelashes, those take 4-6 weeks as well. LOL I had that unfortunate experience last Labor Day weekend. Dang eyelash curlers!
Ok, but why in the world would anyone EVER want to see photos of a pap smear? EWWWWWWWWWWW!
Ha! Hilarious!
hilarious ~ i recently implemented a statcounter for this very reason ... i wanted to see the weirdo reasons people come to my site ... but i don't think i can top this ;-)
i'm just finished reading plainsong!!!! it's soooo good. i think it's one of my top faves now.