Tuesday
Apr242007
Relief is out of reach
Tuesday, April 24, 2007 at 05:23AM
I think my problem is that I have no outlets for stress. I know a lot of people have a drink in the evenings or on the weekends to help them unwind from a long day or stressful week. Too many people, in my opinion, smoke as a stress reliever. Others spend loads of money on massages or days at the spa. And some people exercise, sweating out the stresses of life.
I don't do any of those things. I rarely drink, and even when I do have the occassional cocktail or beer, it doesn't do much for me anyway. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, and I'm pretty sure if I tried one now, I'd never stop. So that's out. Massages or day spas? Oh how I'd love to, but the money to buy a much-needed new pair of jeans has alluded me for weeks, so luxuries like these are out of the question. And exercise? Well let's just say that I have no idea what people mean when they say things like "runner's high" or "working out is fun." I walk with a friend twice a week because it's good for me, but I never feel less stressed for the effort.
Instead of relieving my stress through some kind of outlet, I just steep in it, stewing and brewing, feeling worse and worse. Not that I'm really wishing I was a smoker or drinker, but one of those healthier ways of relieving stress might be nice. Why doesn't exercise make me feel good instead tired and annoyed? I think even if I did yoga or something more relaxing (and yet healthy), it would still feel more like an obligation than a relief.
However, this weekend I did find a couple things that put me in a great mood: friends, family and gorgeous weather. I spent the weekend in GR visiting a good friend Friday night and spending all day Saturday with my family. My sisters, my brothers, my niece and nephew, my mom, dad, stepmom. We spent the whole day outside in the warm sun and the whole evening inside making silly skits like we used to as kids.
When I came home on Sunday I took a nap, then spent another beautiful day with Brad. Driving with the windows down, miniature golfing, grilling burgers with his parents. It was a magnificent weekend, and I didn't feel stressed for one minute (except for that time when I almost ran out of gas in a traffic jam on the way back and had a bit of a spastic moment). I felt so uplifted all weekend and I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to feel stressed and weighed down by life again.
Why is it that my stress relievers are nice weather which I have no control over and which has been fleeting until now and which I don't even get to enjoy over half the time because I'm locked in a windowless office, family of which I have none to speak of in near vicinity and therefore don't see for months at a time, and friends of which I also have none to speak of in this town so that I spend far too much time alone and wishing that I lived closer to my old friends because even those relationships are slipping away?
I'm doing what I can to change those things, but so far I've hit wall after wall. After wall. I had a wonderful weekend and I think the momentum from that will keep me going for a few days still. But after that and before I figure out some long-term solutions, what do you think I should try? Do you see me chain smoking or stocking up my liquor cabinet?*
*I don't even have a liquor cabinet, so I guess that's out. So is smoking. Ew.
I don't do any of those things. I rarely drink, and even when I do have the occassional cocktail or beer, it doesn't do much for me anyway. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, and I'm pretty sure if I tried one now, I'd never stop. So that's out. Massages or day spas? Oh how I'd love to, but the money to buy a much-needed new pair of jeans has alluded me for weeks, so luxuries like these are out of the question. And exercise? Well let's just say that I have no idea what people mean when they say things like "runner's high" or "working out is fun." I walk with a friend twice a week because it's good for me, but I never feel less stressed for the effort.
Instead of relieving my stress through some kind of outlet, I just steep in it, stewing and brewing, feeling worse and worse. Not that I'm really wishing I was a smoker or drinker, but one of those healthier ways of relieving stress might be nice. Why doesn't exercise make me feel good instead tired and annoyed? I think even if I did yoga or something more relaxing (and yet healthy), it would still feel more like an obligation than a relief.
However, this weekend I did find a couple things that put me in a great mood: friends, family and gorgeous weather. I spent the weekend in GR visiting a good friend Friday night and spending all day Saturday with my family. My sisters, my brothers, my niece and nephew, my mom, dad, stepmom. We spent the whole day outside in the warm sun and the whole evening inside making silly skits like we used to as kids.
When I came home on Sunday I took a nap, then spent another beautiful day with Brad. Driving with the windows down, miniature golfing, grilling burgers with his parents. It was a magnificent weekend, and I didn't feel stressed for one minute (except for that time when I almost ran out of gas in a traffic jam on the way back and had a bit of a spastic moment). I felt so uplifted all weekend and I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to feel stressed and weighed down by life again.
Why is it that my stress relievers are nice weather which I have no control over and which has been fleeting until now and which I don't even get to enjoy over half the time because I'm locked in a windowless office, family of which I have none to speak of in near vicinity and therefore don't see for months at a time, and friends of which I also have none to speak of in this town so that I spend far too much time alone and wishing that I lived closer to my old friends because even those relationships are slipping away?
I'm doing what I can to change those things, but so far I've hit wall after wall. After wall. I had a wonderful weekend and I think the momentum from that will keep me going for a few days still. But after that and before I figure out some long-term solutions, what do you think I should try? Do you see me chain smoking or stocking up my liquor cabinet?*
*I don't even have a liquor cabinet, so I guess that's out. So is smoking. Ew.
in Brad, Family, So Annoyed
Brad, Family, So Annoyed
Reader Comments (4)
its good to have a couple of good stress relievers i think ... i don't smoke or drink but i do have a bit of shopping to relieve stress problem which is not good and i am trying to curb. i have resorted to exercise and am finding it is actually working most days. i read a good book while working up a sweat on the elliptical machine and usually feel peaceful afterwards ... i think it releases some sort of happy endorphins :) and its waaaay cheaper than shopping, lol ...
i also find walking and taking photos helps me ... i think you have to find something that makes you happy and allows you to lose yourself in it without ending up drunk and passed out during the cocktail hour (what on earth is a cocktail hour anyway?)
good luck finding your stress buster : )
I'm totally with you on the weather thing. I seem to have the most carefree, marvelous weekends when the weather is pleasant. Too bad we have absolutely no control over that factor.
For me, having something to look forward to always seems to help with the stressful, down times. Brian and I take long weekend trips away on holiday weekends and those are always a good time. Like you, I don't live near family and old friends so trips to see them are great and I have to plan them in advance since it requires a plane flight. I like to have at least one or two exciting things planned in the near future so that when it gets stressful I can turn to those things and know that good times are just around the corner. It seems to help me feel a little better in the mean time.
It sounds like American Idol is a stress reliever for you, or at least a source of joy?
I too am baffled by those who say they love to exercise. When I exercise, I find myself feeling guilty (because I totally cheat!) and annoyed and completely out of shape. The one exercise-related thing I like, though, is this punching bag I got for Christmas. It's small -- like an upside down speed bag -- and on a freestanding pole with sand in its base. I put on my cute bubble gum pink boxing gloves and I beat the crap out of that thing. I feel so much better afterwards! :o) You should definitely have one of these.