It's what's for dinner
Thursday, October 4, 2007 at 09:53AM How bad of a cook am I? Well I almost burned down our apartment building the other day trying to make toast. That’s how bad. Brad was making poached eggs, and I was in charge of toast. After the first two slices popped, I flipped them and pushed them back down because, you know, the toast has to be equally toasted on all sides.
Then I got distracted. I don’t know, talking about something or nothing. I’m sure I was complaining about my latest complaint or rattling on about some annoying thing or another can you even believe how annoying that is? And suddenly the kitchen is filling with smoke.
I leapt for the toaster and popped the lever and up came two smoking black objects in the shape of bread slices. I threw them in the sink and proceeded to fan the kitchen with a dishtowel while Brad ran around opening windows and setting up a fan to blow the smoke outside before the smoke detectors caught on.
Now, to cut myself some slack, I have to say that our toaster emerged from the depths of hell where they like things hot and burning. It’s not like most toasters I’ve dealt with where they repeatedly reject your donations, and you have to push things down three or four times before they even get warm. No, our toaster loves what we offer it, and if we didn’t force the toaster to choke up our food, the toaster would hold on to it until every bagel and English muffin we ever tried to make was nothing but ash.
Mmmm, ash for dinner.
But really, if I can’t even concentrate long enough to make sure the toast comes out less than charred, how does anyone expect me to be able to coordinate the meat with the sauce with the potatoes with the vegetable with the bread? Impossible I tell you. Never ask me to do that.
(Hey Ann and Rob, when are you coming over for dinner?)
Brad
Reader Comments (8)
Um..yeah, I apparently put my comment on the wrong post. I've been quite the ding-a-ling lately. Can I blame it on the fact that I'm sick and my eyeballs feel like they are going to pop out of my head and if I get any more stuff, my brain my be squished??? =)
Shannon. You are a beautiful, intelligent woman. I can teach you to cook. It's all about learning that first dish. Once you know how to make one thing, the rest is easier. If you want some help, please let me know. I still need to meet Brad anyway.
Umm, hello? We met already! Bowling? GOSH. :)
Wow. You are totally right. That was what, like over 2 years ago? I forgot all about that. Well, the cooking offer still stands.
I love cooking and firmly believe that success in the kitchen is basically all about salt, fat, and timing.
mmmmmmmmmmm. Salt and Fat. The two best ingredients for any food. Just look at butter. Butter yummy.
our toaster is COMPLETELY possessed, too. i hope we get a new one for the wedding. we have burned many a piece or not been even able to toast past the barely hot-level. stupid.
i love cooking and can coordinate full on meals but a bad mean possessed toaster drives me crazy ~ we just bought a new one which barely browns the toast and the one before burnt everything to a blackened charred crisp .... argggghhhhh!!!