Wednesday
May102006
Feminism is not a dirty word. Really!
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 09:31AM
Somehow the word "feminist" has become as scary as the word "racist." Everyone is dodging the f-word bullets and carefully preceding their unintentional feminist remarks with "I'm not a feminist, but..."
I don't understand the scariness of that word or the determination to avoid being associated with it. When I was younger I had all these thoughts and feelings about the inequalities between the sexes, the injustices and long-standing degredation toward women, etc. But I never had the words to say or even understand what I meant.
Then I took a course in college called "Feminist Philosophy" and it finally gave definition to so many things in my heart and mind. Not that I had never heard the word feminist before, but I never heard all the other words and theories that went with it. I had finally found a place that I fit, and it all seemed so natural to me. Unlike others who try to hide from it, I was happy to embrace feminism! I admit that some of it seemed far too philosophical and/or radical, but the fundamentals of feminism rang true for me.
Everyone has their own personal meaning of feminism, and I think that's why so many are afraid of it. They've created a definition for themselves that means "man-hating" or "self-riotous radical." But my definition of feminism is simply that women shouldn't be degraded, ruled out, denied, scorned or treated as less than just because they're women.
If Miss A wants to be on the men's wrestling team (assuming there is no women's wrestling team) at her school, but she's really bad at wrestling, then fine, turn her away with the all the boys that couldn't hack it. But don't turn her away without a tryout just because she's a woman. If Miss K is up for promotion against Mr J, but Miss K doesn't have as much experience or ability, go ahead and promote Mr J based on those merits. But don't deny Miss K just because she's a woman. Don't degrade women, don't patronize them, don't assume they're incompetent or incapable, don't beat them or use them or treat them as sexual objects, don't ask them to do the laundry or wash the dishes, don't assume they want to change their last name or have your children just because they are woman.
Some women appreciate some of those things (perhaps the laundry or the children), some women might deserve some of those things (perhaps some really are incapable of certain things), but don't assume all women are or do just because some women are and do.
The real point of all this is to share something I read today. I love the repeated sentence in that piece: "If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work toward equality of the sexes, you are a feminist."
Even if you're afraid of the word, most likely you are a feminist. I know there are some people who can very honestly say they don't have any interest in equality of the sexes, but most people do. Many of my friends and family blush a little when I casually call myself a feminist because I guess they're embarrassed to be associated with someone who supposedly wants to hack off all men's penises and burn them along with their bras.
But what they don't know, and I've stopped trying to convince them of, is that they are feminists too! My sisters are feminists even though two of them would probably scoff at such a suggestion. My friends are feminists, though many probably hesitate to even whisper the word for fear that their leg and armpit hair would suddenly become impossible to shave. My boyfriend is a feminist, but I'm not sure he knows it. My dad's a feminist. My mom, my roommate, my boss. All feminists!
I hope that someday "feminist" can be a strong word, a word of power and respectability. Not something embarrassing. The fundamentals behind feminism are so sensible and really quite ubiquitous in many people's ways of thinking. Either we need to shed the negative stereotypes that have latched themselves on to feminism, or maybe we could shed the word altogether and start fresh. But no, I like the word. I just need to get the rest of the world to like it to.
Shouldn't be too hard, right?
I don't understand the scariness of that word or the determination to avoid being associated with it. When I was younger I had all these thoughts and feelings about the inequalities between the sexes, the injustices and long-standing degredation toward women, etc. But I never had the words to say or even understand what I meant.
Then I took a course in college called "Feminist Philosophy" and it finally gave definition to so many things in my heart and mind. Not that I had never heard the word feminist before, but I never heard all the other words and theories that went with it. I had finally found a place that I fit, and it all seemed so natural to me. Unlike others who try to hide from it, I was happy to embrace feminism! I admit that some of it seemed far too philosophical and/or radical, but the fundamentals of feminism rang true for me.
Everyone has their own personal meaning of feminism, and I think that's why so many are afraid of it. They've created a definition for themselves that means "man-hating" or "self-riotous radical." But my definition of feminism is simply that women shouldn't be degraded, ruled out, denied, scorned or treated as less than just because they're women.
If Miss A wants to be on the men's wrestling team (assuming there is no women's wrestling team) at her school, but she's really bad at wrestling, then fine, turn her away with the all the boys that couldn't hack it. But don't turn her away without a tryout just because she's a woman. If Miss K is up for promotion against Mr J, but Miss K doesn't have as much experience or ability, go ahead and promote Mr J based on those merits. But don't deny Miss K just because she's a woman. Don't degrade women, don't patronize them, don't assume they're incompetent or incapable, don't beat them or use them or treat them as sexual objects, don't ask them to do the laundry or wash the dishes, don't assume they want to change their last name or have your children just because they are woman.
Some women appreciate some of those things (perhaps the laundry or the children), some women might deserve some of those things (perhaps some really are incapable of certain things), but don't assume all women are or do just because some women are and do.
The real point of all this is to share something I read today. I love the repeated sentence in that piece: "If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work toward equality of the sexes, you are a feminist."
Even if you're afraid of the word, most likely you are a feminist. I know there are some people who can very honestly say they don't have any interest in equality of the sexes, but most people do. Many of my friends and family blush a little when I casually call myself a feminist because I guess they're embarrassed to be associated with someone who supposedly wants to hack off all men's penises and burn them along with their bras.
But what they don't know, and I've stopped trying to convince them of, is that they are feminists too! My sisters are feminists even though two of them would probably scoff at such a suggestion. My friends are feminists, though many probably hesitate to even whisper the word for fear that their leg and armpit hair would suddenly become impossible to shave. My boyfriend is a feminist, but I'm not sure he knows it. My dad's a feminist. My mom, my roommate, my boss. All feminists!
I hope that someday "feminist" can be a strong word, a word of power and respectability. Not something embarrassing. The fundamentals behind feminism are so sensible and really quite ubiquitous in many people's ways of thinking. Either we need to shed the negative stereotypes that have latched themselves on to feminism, or maybe we could shed the word altogether and start fresh. But no, I like the word. I just need to get the rest of the world to like it to.
Shouldn't be too hard, right?
in Women
Women
Reader Comments (5)
I'm a feminist. I love the broads. (j/k) (but not really, cuz I do love them)
Jason--you're an ass. :)
lol. Seriously, I'm totally for equality. I tease out of love.
You are a journalist Shannon. When are you going to start getting paid for it!?
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