Friday
Oct132006
Compulsion
Friday, October 13, 2006 at 05:36AM
I kind of stole this idea from Leahpeah. She wrote about one her compulsions, which happens to be the uncontrollable need to draw everything she sees with her fingers. It got me thinking about what some of my compulsions are. I thought of three:
1. Much like Leahpeah, I draw with my fingers or in my mind. At least I used to. I did this a lot when I was in school, but it's faded since then. When I would sit in class or maybe when I was watching tv or just talking to someone, I would draw silhouettes. Either with my finger in the air or on some surface, or sometimes I would just do it in my head.
I would draw the shape of people, the shape of desks, the shape of the tv, etc. People were the most fun because they moved around. I would continue to draw their silhouette even when they moved, so they would often get awkwardly stretched out, and the image in my head might look something like this:
2. I count. I count everything. I count so much that it hurts my brain. If I'm driving and see birds on a telephone line, I have to know how many. If I see a bowl of apples on the table, I have to count them. A design made of dots...how many dots are there? I must know! I've done this my whole life, and I don't understand it, but it hurts my head just think about how often I do it. I do it silently though, people don't even know I'm counting. So next time I talk to you, I might be counting the buttons on your shirt and the beads in your earrings. I can't help myself!
3. I play with numbers that are in a group. The best example of this is the time on a digital clock: I add, subtract, multiply, divide, and rearrange the numbers to consider all the possible relationships between the them.
For instance, if it's 3:41, I'll see this: 3=4-1, 1+3=4, 4-3=1, etc.
Or maybe if the clock says 12:45, I try to count to ten or higher using those numbers. Like this: 1, 2, 1+2=3, 4, 5, 5+1=6, 5+2=7, 5+2+1=8, 4+5=9, 4+5+1=10, 4+5+2=11, 4+5+2+1=12. The higher I can get, the better the time is. I often can't look at the clock without doing this. And I check the time a lot! It can be really exhausting and I have to make myself stop!
So what are your compulsions? What's going through your head that people aren't aware of? What things do you always do that others probably wouldn't notice?
1. Much like Leahpeah, I draw with my fingers or in my mind. At least I used to. I did this a lot when I was in school, but it's faded since then. When I would sit in class or maybe when I was watching tv or just talking to someone, I would draw silhouettes. Either with my finger in the air or on some surface, or sometimes I would just do it in my head.
I would draw the shape of people, the shape of desks, the shape of the tv, etc. People were the most fun because they moved around. I would continue to draw their silhouette even when they moved, so they would often get awkwardly stretched out, and the image in my head might look something like this:2. I count. I count everything. I count so much that it hurts my brain. If I'm driving and see birds on a telephone line, I have to know how many. If I see a bowl of apples on the table, I have to count them. A design made of dots...how many dots are there? I must know! I've done this my whole life, and I don't understand it, but it hurts my head just think about how often I do it. I do it silently though, people don't even know I'm counting. So next time I talk to you, I might be counting the buttons on your shirt and the beads in your earrings. I can't help myself!
3. I play with numbers that are in a group. The best example of this is the time on a digital clock: I add, subtract, multiply, divide, and rearrange the numbers to consider all the possible relationships between the them.
For instance, if it's 3:41, I'll see this: 3=4-1, 1+3=4, 4-3=1, etc.
Or maybe if the clock says 12:45, I try to count to ten or higher using those numbers. Like this: 1, 2, 1+2=3, 4, 5, 5+1=6, 5+2=7, 5+2+1=8, 4+5=9, 4+5+1=10, 4+5+2=11, 4+5+2+1=12. The higher I can get, the better the time is. I often can't look at the clock without doing this. And I check the time a lot! It can be really exhausting and I have to make myself stop!
So what are your compulsions? What's going through your head that people aren't aware of? What things do you always do that others probably wouldn't notice?
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Reader Comments (5)
When I go to bed at night, I have to gather up the corners of the sheet and two blankets so that they match up squarely, and then I fall asleep with them in my fist. If I don't match them up, I go squirrelly.
I often write/spell things with my fingers, not sure why though. But, even more than than I count corners. Corners of the wall, tv, everything! Nice to know that I'm not the only one.
Amber- somebody in Leahpeah's comments said they count corners too. I had never heard of that before, and now twice in one day. Weird!
Wow-someone with the same compulsions as me...
Did I ever mentiont that I stare at people's hair when I talk to them? Just a random side note. So if you ever think it's weird that I don't make eye contact with you, it's because I'm looking at your hair!
I actually play with numbers, like what you said. I also look for things in carpet patterns and ceilings, the grass, kind of like finding things in clouds to the extreme. I also pick a random person, and think about what type of life they must have. Today at Pizza Hut there was this girl with a really hickish family. And then I noticed she didn't have the same nose as everyone else at the table, and I decided she wasn't part of the family, then went on from there deciding what her life really was. Silly things like that.