doahleigh - Holy Waste of Teabags!

I want to do this. Quit everything and travel around the world for a year. I know everyone wants to do that, but I really do. In a year when I finish my graduate program I could totally quit everything I’ve got going on right now and just go. That gives me a year to save up money and make plans. I know it’s not exactly spontaneous, but it’s better than nothing.

There are so many places I want to go, and it seems like there are never enough vacation days to do it all. And of course there’s never even kind of enough money. I’m always yearning to go go go. Somewhere, anywhere, everywhere. But it’s not very often that I actually go. So I want to do this.

Problem is, I don’t want to do it alone. I know I could. I could travel the world alone and it would be fine. But I don’t want to. I want to make plans and make decisions and experience it all with someone else (or more than one someone, that’s cool too). Wouldn’t it be fun if a small group of bloggers who became friends online all decided to get together and travel the world for a year? Even six months, I could handle six months. I think that’s a great story. I really want to do this!

So who’s with me? Who’s gonna do this with me?

(If you’re not a blogger friend but someone I know in real life, I’d love to do this with you too. Feel free to speak up.)

This weekend my family and I went up to a little cabin in the woods. It was actually my sisters, their boyfriends, some of their friends, me and my mom (Brad was busy and missed out). It was a tiny little cabin with no electricity or running water, but we spent most of our time around the campfire anyway. Friday night I didn’t get any sleep because half of the group stayed up until past 5am, keeping me unwillingly awake with them. Mom and I ended up leaving Saturday night because I had to get some sleep and I knew it wouldn’t happen if we stayed there again.

None of that is the point of this story though. The point is that on Saturday we rented some tubes to float a river for a few hours. I was so excited because it had been years since I did that, but now, on the other side of that trip, I can safely say that I’ll probably never want to go again. It wasn’t horrible, but it was probably the least relaxing thing I’ve ever done. I had visions of chilling in a tube, drinking a beer while the current quietly carried me down the river.

Not at all what happened.

Misadventure #1
We created two “pods” of tubes so we could stick together. Pod 1 – my pod – consisted of two double-seater tubes, five single tubes, eight people and one fully stocked cooler tied together with rope. We were large and quite unmanageable. It’s impossible to steer something like that, so we were basically never where we wanted to be. Always hung up on a fallen log, stuck in a bank, floating over large rocks or under overhanging trees. And those overhanging trees? FULL. OF. SPIDERS. When I went canoeing a couple years ago on the same river, I had a traumatic encounter with a spider tree, which I had kind of forgotten about until I was back on the river. And then it was too late. I spent the whole trip desperately trying to avoid these trees, and at one point I dove out of my tube and on top of my sister’s boyfriend’s six-year-old daughter to dodge a particularly spidery one. Seriously not relaxing.

Misadventure #2
About half an hour into the trip I saw a little animal swim across the river a hundred yards ahead of us. Aww, cute little animal. A few minutes later Pod 2 yelled back at us to watch out for the woodchuck – apparently they can be aggressive. We made our way to where the woodchuck was spotted and we lifted our feet just in case, but we weren’t really worried. Until suddenly the motherfucking woodchuck surfaced less than two feet from us. Without a bit of exaggeration I can say that the big furry beast was just out of arm’s reach from me when it surfaced and then dove back under. I saw every hair on its broad back. I may have made eye contact. Not so much a cute little animal by the way. This thing was as big as my sister’s yellow lab. It would have been fine if we could have just floated right past it, but instead we were stuck behind a fallen log. Try as we might, we could not get past the log without sticking our legs in the water, which none of us were willing to do with a giant killer woodchuck swimming below us.

While the rest of us tried to keep our limbs and asses from touching the water, my sister Emily was finally brave enough to jump in and pull us around the log. But then she lost her hat, so my sister Kelli had to jump in to save the hat while Emily saved us. Thankfully nobody was mauled by what one of the guys described as “a fucking bear in the water.”

Misadventure #3
But none of this is even the worst part of the trip. All day the weather was gorgeous, and even though we knew there was a small chance of rain, we weren’t concerned. A little sprinkle wouldn’t hurt. When we saw the storm cloud and heard it rumbling though, we knew we were going to get hit with a little more than rain. The guys at the rafting company told us to go left at the fork in the river and our exit was at the first road overpass after that. The first raindrops fell just as we came to the fork, so we figured we’d be out of the river before it got bad. But then it started down pouring, the kind of driving rain that stings your skin. It was so cold that we were all shivering violently.

And then it started to hail. Yes hail. Marble-sized chunks of ice pelted our bodies. So now it’s raining, it’s hailing, it’s freezing cold and the wind picks up. We have no idea how much farther we have to go and the little girl is scared to death. Andrea held onto her while her dad did his best to shield her with his body. Then we see lightening. We’re in the water and there is lightening striking nearby. The river is warmer than the air (what with the HAIL and all!), so it’s a choice between getting in the water with lightening nearby or staying above the water where it’s bitter cold.

About half an hour after the whole thing started, we finally see the bridge. As soon as we get out of the water, the rain lets up, but then it’s a quarter mile hike down a muddy path in bare feet, carrying heavy tubes and coolers. After the rain it was gorgeous and warm, so we spent the ride back to the cabin baking in the sun, which was magnificent. In the end, nobody got hurt so it really wasn’t that bad. But in the middle of the chaos, I looked at my sister and said, “This is what we’re doing right now. This is our life at this moment – floating down a river while it’s raining and hailing and lightening. How did this happen?” But at the same time I kept thinking that soon it would all be over and we’d have a great story to tell.

Edited to add: After some research, I determined that the woodchuck may have in fact been a beaver. This is no less discomforting.

I don’t want a career or a baby. Is that so wrong?

Okay that’s not entirely true. I will probably want a baby someday, and I’ll probably always have a career. But I’m not really passionate about either, and that truth doesn’t seem to fit anywhere in our society’s ideas of women. You choose a career or you choose motherhood; you give up having a family so you can become a CEO or you give up the pursuit of the top so you can you have a family. There doesn’t seem to be anything in between.

And yet, I’m somewhere in between. So I wonder… what does that make me?

If you’ve already seen it, you may have guessed that I watched “Baby Mama” over the weekend. A movie in which a thirty-something woman decides that after years of climbing the corporate ladder, she’s ready to be a mommy. This isn’t just a woman was going along in life and forgot to have a child—she intentionally did not pursue motherhood because she wanted to be a rockstar at her job. And she is! At the time of her maternal realization, she is also promoted to vice president of something or other (details allude me). But this is clearly a woman who made a choice between kids and career.

Which is the dichotomy that is almost always set up for women in the media. Movies, television, the news, even blogs. You always see something about “More women giving up careers to stay home with kids” or “Family and work: can you have it all?”

Why does it have to be one or the other? What if I don’t want either? Or what if I just don’t want either that badly?

I have a career, and I’m even working on a master’s degree so I can continue that career. But I can’t say that I have ambitions to be a big fancy anything. I don’t work because I love working, I work because I have to. And since I have to, I make sure I do a damn good job—I’m good at what I do, and I’ve excelled at every job I’ve had. Since I have to keep working for, well, ever really, I’ll continue to make sure I’m good at what I do. But don’t expect me to make sacrifices in my life for my job. Ever. No I will not give up my allotted vacation days so I can demonstrate my dedication!

Likewise, I suppose I’ll have a baby someday too. Am I dying to be a mother? Does my uterus cry out every time I see a newborn? No and no. As a matter of fact, I keep assuming the maternal urge will hit me eventually, but so far, nothing. Motherhood is in my plans, but I have no idea when and I’m certainly in no hurry. So having babies is not my ultimate goal, to say the least.

So, to refresh: I’m not a superdriven career woman and I’m not a mother-in-the-making. What am I?

It’s not so much that I’m on a crusade to change these perceptions, but just that it’s starting to wear on me. I know that I should be okay with not fitting into either mold, but the constant reminder that I should be is starting to convince me that maybe I’m just lazy. Maybe I should get off my ass and climb the ladder. Or get off my ass and make some babies. I’m not doing anything, I’m just sitting here reading lots of good books and traveling whenever I can afford it and spending time with my family (of the sibling and parent nature…not the husband and kids kind). WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!

You see my point I’m sure. What is so wrong about wanting my life to be about interesting things: people, places, books, etc? Nothing. There’s nothing wrong and I know it. Yet I feel all this pressure, like, okay woman you’re 27 and you’re nowhere near becoming a mommy. That must mean you want to be a big shot career woman, but uh, nope. You don’t seem too interested in getting to the top very fast. So what exactly is it that you’re doing that’s worthwhile?

Um… I just started a book club. I went to New York last month. Does that count?

Sometimes I wonder if this whole grad school thing is just a result of that pressure. Like in order to keep going and getting better jobs, it makes sense to get some more education. And since I’m not doing anything very domestic, maybe I should try to be better at working for a living. So here I am, back in school. I’m not even sure what I want to do with this degree!

The worst thing is that as I get older, this is only going to get worse. I’ll be expected, more and more, to either procreate or tack a fancy title after my name. Or both. And all I’ll have done is read a few hundred books and taken a couple dozen trips. Is that so wrong?

So here’s the big NYC post. Like I said, this is going to be mostly for my own future reference, for that day when I’m like “Wait, have I ever been to Grand Central Station? I can’t remember.” I’ll just check the ol’ blog and find my answer. If you’re interested in the play-by-play of others’ trips, read on. If you just want to scroll through the pictures, feel free (by the way, I was so rushed and distracted the whole time that picture-taking was not my primary concern. I basically just held my camera out and hit the button a lot. So these aren’t the greatest photos I’ve ever taken). And if you’re bored to death with the whole business, come back a little later when I’ve written something more interesting.

I took this trip with my friend Robin. She had been there once before and so remembered a little bit about the lay of the land, but I’m happy to say I figured it all out pretty easily. I never really felt completely lost or confused, and we even gave directions to people a few times! Despite our cameras and maps, we so looked like locals. Uh huh.

We left Thursday morning and actually had to fly west to go east (oddly, it was cheaper that way), so we sat at our layover for a couple hours and got to New Jersey in the afternoon. We were staying with someone R knew just across the water from Manhattan. This is the view from the end of her road, about a sixty second walk from her front door:

Since it was our host’s birthday on Thursday, we didn’t go into the city that night so we could hang out with her. We strolled through the park at the end of the road and took pictures of the skyline, went to the grocery store to buy a birthday card, then had Pakistani food made by our host’s Pakistani friends. We got to learn a little about Pakistan culture too, including the fact that one of the girls was related to Benazir Bhutto. I think maybe Benazir was her aunt, and she was in Pakistan for a wedding when Benazir was killed. She had even talked to her earlier that day. It was surreal to hear her talk about her so personally. We also took a ride in the BMW convertible that our host had just leased! That night we went to bed later than we wanted to, but we were ready to go see the city Friday morning.

Friday we figured out the bus system and went through the Lincoln Tunnel to Manhattan. As soon as we stepped foot onto 8th Avenue outside the Port Authority where we were dropped off, I was immediately overwhelmed. We just started walking with no real destination and got swept up in the fast-moving chaos of the city. Eventually we stopped to make a plan and look at a map, but we made the mistake of pausing right in the middle of Times Square where we were immediately accosted by the tour bus people. We talked to this guy, Salu, for a good half hour before agreeing to buy tickets from him.

As soon as the sale was complete we asked for the nearest Starbucks—I was starving and Robin needed coffee. That’s one thing about New York that I noticed: no matter where we were, it was never in the right place to find what we wanted. On our walk to the middle of Times Square we had been looking for a Starbucks, which supposedly are on almost every corner, and never found one. But later that day we saw one every two minutes. There were a couple times we were starving and walked forever looking for a place that didn’t seem sketchy but didn’t cost $30 a plate. Once we were severely craving gelato, and we even went so far as to call our boyfriends who searched Google Maps for us. Guess what, the nearest one was about twenty blocks away.

Anyway, Salu pointed us to a Juan Valdez café where we had a quick breakfast, then we were off to find Madame Toussaud’s. That turned out to be far too expensive, so instead we hopped on the tour bus and went to the Empire State Building. Part of our tour bus ticket deal was one free day on the bus and a ticket to the ESB. We waited in a crazy long line, spent about 15 minutes on the observation deck and headed back down. As soon as we got to the ground floor we encountered mad media. Camera crews and reporters blocking our way.

We got outside and saw signs everywhere for Mariah Carey. We had no interest in awaiting her arrival, so we moved right along and found our way to Grand Central Station where we took a couple pictures and grabbed some lunch. Then we walked to Rockefeller Center. That is one of those places you see all. the. time. on tv so it was pretty cool. We saw the golden statue, the Rockefeller building, the place where they ice skate, the spot where the Christmas tree goes, Today’s Studio 1A. Around the corner we saw Radio City Music Hall, then went on to find the Museum of Modern Art.

We knew that MOMA had free friday evenings, so we got there early to make sure we got in. We checked out the gift shop, then sat around the lobby. At about 3:45, just before the free hours started, we realized maybe there was a line we should be in. Uh yeah. A line that went down the block and around the corner! It went fast though and we got in no problem. We blew through all six floors of the museum, doing our best to take it all in without lingering so long that we wanted to leave before we got through. I took this one for Brad (if you haven’t seen it before, read the caption):

We sat in the MOMA sculpture garden for awhile eating over-priced gelato, then decided to walk to a tour bus stop that would take us closer to the Port Authority. We sat at the SE corner just outside Central Park for 20 minutes before we realized that the buses were done running. By then my legs were so painful that I was practically limping, so we hobbled down to the SW corner of the park and sat in Columbus Circle until I could move again. We worked our way down 8th Avenue until we found a place to eat dinner, then hobbled the rest of the way to the bus station. We were so tired, we fell into bed soon after getting back to the house.

Saturday morning we got to the city about 10:00, stopped at a Starbucks (this time we knew where to look) and hopped on a tour bus. We rode the bus all through midtown, into the Flat Iron District and then into Greenwich Village. Although Friday was gorgeous, this day was cold and windy and we were ill-prepared. We got off the bus in Soho partly to walk around and check it out, and partly to get out of the cold wind on the bus. We strolled around, checking things out, and eventually made our way to Ground Zero. I’m sure you’ve all heard about the little chapel next to the WTC buildings that survived with hardly a scratch. We checked that out for awhile, and took what pictures we could of Ground Zero, which isn’t much. It’s all blocked from view while they do construction. Still, it was an obvious hole in the landscape, and that alone was enough to evoke memories of the loss that happened there.

From there we walked down to Battery Park to sit for awhile. We didn’t want to take the ferry to the statue, so we took a couple pictures from the park and called it good. Off to Wall Street we went. We saw that iconic bull statue (can’t even remember what it’s for), the New York Stock Exchange and all the other fun money-related things. By then we were exhausted, but we still had to walk up to the pier by the Brooklyn Bridge to catch our bus. We rode that into Chinatown, got off to walk around, then struggled to find a good place to eat lunch. We ended up in a little Italian place with delicious food in Little Italy. We went back to the other end of Canal Street, but it was so crazy and overwhelming that we escaped as soon as possible. No Coach or Chanel or Prada for us (thank god), but not for lack of trying on the sellers’ part. Hopped back on the bus to get to midtown. We found the Marriot Marquis where you can buy discounted Broadway tickets, and the line was holy long already!

But we entertained each other to get through and buy tickets to Chicago. Since we had a few hours until the show, we got back on the bus (our legs were so tired!) and rode the whole downtown tour so we could see the things we missed by getting off the first time. By the time we got back up to the Broadway area, we had time to grab some Jamba Juice (in lieu of dinner) and get in line at the Ambassador Theatre. The show was amazing and very entertaining. We got out and walked through Times Square at night, which is full of energy. Then back to the bus station and home to bed.

I want to take this moment to say that my best word to describe Manhattan is: DENSE! So dense. So many people, so many cars, so many buildings everywhere. Look at all the people:

That tiny little island is jam-packed with stuff. I don’t get how it doesn’t just sink. Anyway, Sunday we slept in a little later. We knew it was going to be cold again, and we had accomplished so much already that we knew we could be a little more casual on our last day. We got to the city around noon and immediately hopped on the bus for the uptown tour. This one took us along Central Park, over to Grant’s Tomb, past where John Lennon was shot, through Harlem, etc. We got off at the NE end of Central Park and went in. The park is so totally different than I had imagined. I thought it was just a big park, like grass and trees and people hanging out. Oh no. First, we encountered elaborate fountains and flower gardens.

Once we figured out how to get out of there (we kept hitting dead ends), we were in the middle of a sophisticated system of paths and trails full of runners, walkers and bikers. Then we found the reservoir and some tree covered grasses, and then somehow we ended up hiking in the middle of woods.

After the forest we walked over a bridge and pretty soon were in the middle of what was basically a street fair. Finally we got out of the park and, in search of much-needed food, we ended up down on 47th for pizza. That’s when we called the boys about finding us some gelato, but instead ended up at Red Mango. Which, by the way, best frozen yogurt EVER! By then we were freezing and so very tired, so we agreed that we had done all we wanted to do and now it was time to say goodbye to New York City. We got back on the bus, through the tunnel and into NJ. We took a nap, ate some dinner, packed up all our stuff and crashed. Monday was a long day because of the layover (and we almost missed our connection!), but we were home by 4.

Tuesday I was tired and so not ready to go back to work, and my legs still hurt a little too. Plus, all the walking and not a single pound lost! Such crap. I’m so glad I went though. It wasn’t a very expensive trip (thanks to the fact that someone let us use their house to sleep), and I got to see a city I had always wanted to visit. I’m sure I’ll be back someday, but it was definitely an amazing first visit. Thanks to Robin for putting up with my soar legs and slow walking at times. We should travel together more often. I’ll leave you all (as if anyone is still reading) with this gorgeous view:

I’m back from New York City! Yes it was incredible. My legs hurt and I’m totally exhausted, but we did everything on our list, so it was worth it. I’m working on a detailed post that nobody will give a crap about except me, but in the meantime there’s this…

Today is my and Brad’s annikissary!

Yes that is a lame made-up word for the anniversary of our first kiss. In honor of that, I direct you to the sappity sap sappy stuff we wrote last year at this time. It’s all about how we met and blah blah blah. It’s cute though, so go over there to laugh and say aaawwww until I can put up some details about my super-fabulous trip.

Part 1 of the looove story

Part 2 of the looove story

Friday night I put the finishing touches on and submitted a 68-page paper for one of my classes. Thirteen of those pages were chapter titles, but still, that’s a lot of frickin’ pages! I had been working on it all semester, and when I hit SUBMIT, that was the very last thing I had to do for the semester.

For two whole weeks I’m so done with classes! It’ll be a busy two weeks, but at least one part of my life is on break. Damn that feels good.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go enjoy the last couple hours of this gorgeous day.

Kelly asked what I did for Brad’s birthday in response to the awesome gift he made me for mine. I think she said something like “You owe him something good,” which ya know, no pressure or anything. Well I’d say I did pretty good. A long time ago I started a project for him, and then I forgot about it for a couple years. A few months ago I finally pulled it out again, and on his birthday he got this:  

It’s a homemade Batman quilt! Now come on, that’s pretty frickin’ awesome. I also bought him dinner and took him to Coldstone for ice cream. But since the quilt was a long-time in the making, and his birthday was just an excuse to finally finish and give it to him, his real present was this:

On Friday night we went to Detroit for the Pistons game. Remember when he got me the jersey to wear for the occasion? I was yards away from Rasheed Wallace and I still don’t think he even noticed me. Jerk.

We had fun though. Happy birthday again babe.

I’m back! Phew, that was a long and tiring trip, but I made it home. Most of my time was spent doing work-related stuff, passing out with fatigue or watching bad tv in the wee hours of the morning because of insomnia. A few hours were spent hanging out with an awesome blogger, a good chunk was spent in airports or plans or shuttles, and I did a little eating too. Not much time was spent enjoying the Twin Cities though, so that kind of sucked.

I have so much to do to get caught up with life again! As soon as I landed in GR yesterday, I was busy and didn’t get home until bedtime, so today is devoted to getting life back in order. Which means I’m cutting this post short. More on everything trip-related soon though. Mostly the fun parts…I’ll try to spare you details on what it’s like to watch Reno 911 at 2am in a hotel room because you can’t sleep and it’s the best thing on.

Tomorrow I leave for Minneapolis. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it, but I’ll be there the rest of the week for work. Turns out that I may have some free time during my stay, so if you’ve visited or live there and know of something worthwhile, let me know. I’ve been there once before, in my last job, and all I had time to do was visit the Central Library of the Minneapolis library system. What else should I do?

———

I had a fun weekend in that it was fun, and a kind of crappy weekend in that I was busy and spent too much money. As much as I love having so many social engagements (because remember how miserable I was before I moved here, with no friends or family around?), they are expensive and make it hard to do things that need to get done. Like homework. And bathing.

Friday night we had dinner with some friends, then came back to our place for an exciting game of Trivial Pursuit Totally 80s. We were all quite young in the 80s and so didn’t do very well. After awhile we moved into a “lightening round” in which you must speed-read the questions, and anybody can answer. If anyone gets the right answer, the person whose turn it is gets a pie piece even if they’re not on a pie space on the board. It was fun and fast, so I highly recommend this method in times of need. We drank beer, ate ice cream, played Nerf basketball, Tetris and Guitar Hero before finally calling it a night.

Saturday night I met up with some old high school friends. There was a group of five of us (called SMEAR, which is an (acceptable) acronym from the first letters of our first names) who hung out in high school. Some of us manage to still get together on a regular basis now that we all live in West Michigan again, but this was going to be a big reunion with all five of us. But dinner and movie for five turned into dinner for four and a movie for three. It was not a rave success, but those of us who could make it had good time.

Sunday we went to my grandparents’ house for Easter dinner. It’s rare that the entire family (aunts, uncles, cousins and all) comes together, even for holidays. But this time everyone was there except one of my sisters. We had fun, but nobody ate the $15 veggie tray I bought and brought. Next time I get assigned something, I’m just going to pretend I forgot because it won’t be missed and then I save 15 bucks.

———

The next few weeks are a bit crazy for me. I’m gone all this week, and as soon as I return I have plans almost every day through the first week of April. Not to mention trying to finish up everything for school before the semester ends. As soon as that happens, I’m off to New York for five days. Then finally, finally I think I can breathe a little until summer classes start up May 5. Then it’s school two nights a week until early August, when I leave for a family trip out west. I hope I find time to enjoy the sunshine and warmth, once the weather finally turns. Which may never happen at this rate.

Shannon: My next vacation is planned for August, but I don’t think I can wait that long to take a trip. I think we should go to New York City.
Robin: I’m in.

Did I think it would really happen? I wasn’t counting on it—we’ve tried to plan trips before, and the plans tend to crumble before we even book a ticket. But after a couple months of talking about it, on Sunday we actually booked a flight to New York at the end of April.

I’m going to New York City baby!

Robin has been once before, but this will be my first time. I know the people who live or frequent the city are thinking I’m obnoxious with all the excitement and cheer, but as an outsider like me (as in, lives in the Midwest), NYC is just one of those places you have to visit someday in your lifetime. And the end of April is my someday.

Truth be told, I’m mostly just excited to be taking a trip with Robin. During college, we once spent a long weekend together in Toronto, and it was one of the most memorable trips I’ve taken. Lately all my travels have been for work, with family or with Brad, which of course are all great, but I miss the days of exploring new places with friends.

We found a place to stay for free, and we got a decent price on airfare that doesn’t require a lot of inconvenient drop-offs and pickups, so we hope to focus most of our trip budget (meager as it is) on entertainment, transportation within the city, and nourishment (though we’re not really interested in five-star dining—we’re good with hot dog stands and corner delis).

We’ll be there for three and a half days, and already we have a pretty lengthy list of things to accomplish. And yes, most of them are the typical, and probably tacky, tourist stuff. We’re not ashamed, we’re tourists and we want to see all that crap they always show on television! I mean Robin has already been the victim of the NBC Studios tour—paraded around in front of the locals wearing giant headphones and following a tour guide—so we’re comfortable with our tourist status. Though we’ll probably try to blend in a little (we’ve agreed to leave our overalls and straw hats at home), I’m not gonna lie, I’ll probably be looking up a lot (tall buildings are cool, shut up.) And taking a lot of pictures. And reading maps with perplexed looks. And crying when I realize we took the wrong train and now we’re lost.

I’m excited to get away for a few days, see a few sights, share a few laughs, and buy a few I Heart NYC t-shirts. If you think of anything I absolutely cannot miss while in town, please let me know. But I warn you, it’ll have to be worked in between our visits to Times Square and Central Park.

I decided to plan a date for myself and Brad. Because he’s new to town (although not a complete stranger) and I haven’t lived here in years, I thought it would be fun to explore some of the local attractions. So I planned a few activities and told him to make himself available most of Saturday. I was excited.

And then we got in a fight. A bad one. Over something really important stupid, and I thought the date was off. I wasn’t going to do anything nice for that jerk!

But then he made things better and the date was back on. And I’m glad because we had a lot of fun. First we went to Frederik Meijer Garden and Sculpture Park. I hadn’t been there in so long that I had basically forgotten what it even was, so it was essentially new for both of us. Now we’re not a photographers. At all. But at a place like this, even a couple amateurs with a little point-and-shoot can have fun.

That’s little ol’ me with a giant horse. It’s the full-size sculpture that daVinci always intended. It’s pretty frickin’ sweet if you ask me.

A portion of a sculpture called Aria. I don’t really have an eye for framing photos, but you can pretty much point the camera anywhere at this thing and get a cool shot.

Here’s Brad with a giant circular sculpture. The name escapes me… something about a desert rose?

I don’t know, just proof that I was there too I guess. This pond was right across the path from…

The Thinker. Which was the genius of Rodin, who also created this one…

…called Eve. This is just a portion of her, in case that wasn’t obvious.

And lastly from the sculpture park, a sample work from featured artist, George Rickey. He did these crazy kinetic sculptures that all moved on their own. It was like a balancing act. Perpetual motion. Something. It was cool.

After all the walking around the park, we were low on energy, so we went to a Grand Rapids hot spot, Yesterdog.

I failed to take a picture of their sign, but here’s Brad standing pensively in the crowd. Yeah see that crowd? It grew bigger and gave me a bit of an anxiety attack. I had to go sit down, and Brad, brave soul, was left to deal with the masses and the “soup nazi” counter staff. I also failed to take a picture of the mess that are Yesterdog hotdogs, but believe me, they were worth it.

Then we saw a movie at the cheap theatre. We decided to see Knocked Up, which actually wasn’t as bad as I expected. I was prepared for a plot lost in extreme crudeness, but it was tolerable and even funny.

All in all, it was a fun date and a beautiful day. I’m sad that winter is coming soon to ruin all the fun. (Check out our Frederik Meijer photo set here.)

When we were kids, my sister Andrea always seemed to get the coolest gifts. An art desk, an adopt-a-dolphin, a membership in the World Wildlife Federation. My gifts were great, no complaints, but hers always seemed so creative. I was especially envious the year she got a half-hour plane ride in a Cessna with a pilot friend of my dad. That was before any of us had ever been on a plane before, and even though I’ve flown on commercial flights a million times since then, I’ve always had this dream of taking a ride on a little 2-3 passenger aircraft. Even though I’ve explored the idea and even entered contests to win rides like these, the right opportunity never came along.

Until last weekend when we were up north. The father and brother of the groom told us about the biplane ride they had taken only a few hours before the wedding. They showed us pictures and pronounced it to be “so awesome.” I looked at Brad with eager eyes. I wanted to take that plane ride! But we had spent too much money on this trip already, and we’re about to embark on some pretty expensive endeavors in the next couple months. How could we possibly justify $130 for 30 minutes of fun?

But it was a dream of mine, and if I’ve learned one thing from watching people pursue their dreams on reality tv for the last five years, it’s that you have to take advantage of opportunities given you or nothing will ever happen. Somebody was dangling this opportunity right in front of my face, a chance to fulfill a longtime wish, and all I had to do to make it happen was drive a half mile from our hotel and hand a guy a check. And when the father of the groom said, “You can’t think about the money. It’s so much fun and you’ll remember it forever and the money doesn’t matter,” I knew I’d be on the plane in the morning.

Brad and I got in a fight that night, and we weren’t really talking in the morning. It would have been so easy to say screw it, I don’t want to be buckled into a tiny biplane with you. Let’s just go home and save the money. And I think we almost did. But I knew this opportunity might never be so available and accessible again. We had to go, and so we did.

I’m scared of heights and Brad is a nervous flyer, but neither of us felt anything but safe and exhilirated the whole time. It was definitely worth $130 even though I don’t know how I’m eating this week. Or paying rent.

I’m so glad we did it. And I think I may try taking advantage of other opportunities thrown my way in the future. Turns out it’s pretty fun.

(See the whole photo set here.)

It took me about a eleven million hours, but I finally uploaded all of my trip pictures to Flickr (Phoenix and San Diego). I never really wrote much about the trip besides some highlights and a long description of Brad’s hospital visit, and now the trip is practically a distant memory. I’m still not going to go into any detail, but I will share a few photos so you can see just how cool my business trip slash vacation was.

In Phoenix, when I wasn’t working, we spent a lot of time at the pool. And even though we didn’t see much of the actual desert, our hotel did a great job of recreating it in the form of a Cactus Garden. Other than hang out at the resort, we took shuttles and trolleys all over Scottsdale to see what it had to offer. A lot of shopping basically. I hate shopping, so we didn’t buy anything, but we had a good week anyway.

My first day in San Diego was actually spent in Los Angeles, namely Hollywood Boulevard, where I took far too many pictures of the star-studded sidewalk (because really, who cares?) and met the likes of Batman and Michael Jackson.

The next day we romped around San Diego all day, seeing the sites. It was my first time seeing the Pacific Ocean and I was inspired to attempt to conquer my fear of heights. I failed. But I also had my very first In-n-Out Burger, of which I approve.

The third day was called the Desert Drive Day, but actually we drove through of variety of terrains: mountains, rocks, deserts, plains. The best photo opps were in the desert though, where I began a series called “Trash in the Desert.” Look for a book to be published soon. I also captured a lot of the beautiful flora (fortunately we encountered no fauna because desert snakes equal not cool).

My last day in San Diego was spent at the zoo. Of course. I wanted to see everything though, which meant over six hours of walking. Fortunately Erica and Ronia were up for it (actually Ronia was pushed in a stroller, she’s kind of a baby like that). The zoo has so many cool animals, and if you pay attention, they have some really interesting plants as well. Erica says Dr. Suess used to visit the zoo to sketch the plants, and then used them in his book illustrations. But of course, my very favorite part was the elephant exhibit (is it wrong to say animals are exhibits? It feels wrong) because I’m best friends with them.

Most of the trip photos on Flickr are friends/family only, so if you refuse to jump on the bandwagon, too bad for you. If you do jump though, add me as a contact and get an all-access pass to my pictures. Hot.

On the last leg of my recent trip, the flight from Denver to Detroit, I sat near an interesting woman. She slept throughout most of the flight but woke up in plenty of time to completely tear apart and discredit my relationship with Brad. She was telling me about some list, a list that tells you whether or not your man really loves you. She listed all the criteria, and even though Brad passed with flying colors, she still insisted that we weren’t for real.

Why? Because I had no ring on my finger. We’re not married after two years, we’re not even engaged, and what! he hasn’t even given me a promise ring (uh please)? Then something is amiss and I need to jump from this train heading nowhere. Fast.

I explained that I am putting off marriage just as much as Brad, and that we’re doing that so as to not make the same mistakes almost every single other person in our lives have made. That didn’t help. She then decided the fact that I’m not interested in getting married means that I don’t really love him. We just don’t love each other, bottom line.

We went on like this until I was walking off the plane and she was waiting to get her carry-on out of the overhead compartment. Before I left though I got her email address and said I’d write her when I either a) get married to Brad, or b) break up with him. I actually emailed her earlier this week so gmail would store her address, and she emailed me back to say that despite her grilling, by the end of the flight I had convinced her that Brad really was a “List Man.”

Which prompted me to look into the so called List. Turns out she was talking about a book called The List: 7 Ways to Tell if He’s Going to Marry You in 30 Days or Less. Oh I see, this list tells me if he’s going to marry me, not if he really loves me. This is a book for women who desperately want to get married, not necessarily for those of us who want a meaningful relationship with a man who loves us. Two totally different things. For the lucky ones, they’re synonymous, but in reality, people get married for all kinds of reasons, often the least of which are love and devotion.

So basically this lady was saying that because we weren’t married yet, didn’t want to be married yet, and weren’t planning to be married anytime soon, then something was wrong with our relationship. But why? Does love always have to equal marriage?

My sister told me a story about a couple she met on a recent flight. They were celebrating their 40th anniversary by flying out west and getting married. For the first time. They were together 40 years before they decided to get hitched, yet somehow my relationship isn’t real because we aren’t married after two.

I don’t think my plane lady meant any harm, she was actually really funny and energetic. But I wonder why so many people assume that if you’re in love, you get married and if you’re married, you’re in love. I love Brad, and yes I’ll probably get married someday, and yes probably to Brad. But why did I feel like I had to work so hard to defend our relationship the way it is now?

The funniest part is that at some point this lady had been married to someone who wasn’t exactly a “List Man,” and she divorced him ten years later. And during the trip from which she was then returning, she had had herself a little vacation fling. I think that was point: she had waited around for some guy to marry her, he finally did and they eventually divorced, and now she’s having the time of her life. I think she wanted me to either get married or realize it wasn’t gonna happen and start having fun. Well thanks, but I am having fun. And I’m not even married. Imagine!

I used to think that I didn’t really suffer from jetlag, but I don’t know what else to blame the last few nights on. Observe:

Wednesday night (upon returning from the airport): Very tired, no problem falling asleep early and staying asleep until I got up for work.

Thursday night: Couldn’t sleep; up until 2am.

Friday night: To bed at 1:30am, but woken up at 9.

Saturday: Exhausted all day long. Very busy and barely functioning. All I want to do is take a nap!

Saturday night: Home at 12:30am, fell into bed and slept hard until noon on Sunday.

Sunday night: Still tired, but can’t sleep until midnight.

Monday night: In bed by 9:30, asleep by 10. Woke up at 4am and couldn’t fall back asleep. Read for an hour, still couldn’t sleep. Dozed lightly, waking often, until 7am.

I’d really like to get some normal sleep and feel rested already.

This screwy sleep schedule is also messing with the rest of my life. I feel so behind and like I can’t catch up. I still haven’t uploaded any trip photos, I haven’t been able to write or read much bloggy stuff, and if it weren’t for Brad, our apartment would still be a dirty disgusting disaster.

Speaking of Brad, I’m happy to announce that last night he found out he was accepted into the school he wanted. This is really good news because it’s the same school where I was accepted for a graduate program. Certain other circumstances—circumstances that I can’t discuss here unfortunately—need to fall into place before we can take advantage of these opportunities, but his acceptance is really good news. Positive vibes sent our way will be graciously welcomed.

In conclusion, I’m tired and I’m stressed about making the aforementioned circumstances work out, but yesterday I realized I was in a good mood. Not overtly happy or giddy, but I wasn’t on vacation or doing anything fun and I was still in a good mood. It was nice.