Despite what I may have said recently, I really do hate winter. I know that nobody wants to hear one more rant about how much winter sucks, because unless you’re smart and live in a warmer climate, we’re all suffering through a long and bitter cold season. And nobody is having much fun as far as I know. But to get it out of my system, here are a few reasons that I, personally, wish winter had never been invented:

• Friday afternoon Brad and I were talking in our apartment when I noticed a car in the parking lot below struggling to get out of its snowpacked spot. We watched for a few seconds before Brad went down to help. He put on his big snow boots, gloves, coat and hat and waded through knee-deep snow to help the guy push the car while his girlfriend steered. They got it out, and all Brad got for his efforts was a half-hearted “thanks.” People are not friendly in the winter.
• Saturday night Robin and I decided we wanted to watch a movie together, but when it came time to decide who would drive over to the other’s place, we called the whole thing off. We live in the same apartment complex and our buildings are literally a five second drive away. But because neither of us wanted to get out from under our pile of blankets and bear the elements for even that long, we didn’t hang out.
• To make up for Saturday night’s non-hang-out, she and I went grocery shopping together on Sunday. The snow was so thick and the wind so strong, we couldn’t even see where to push the overflowing cart to get to her car. Did I say push the cart? I meant drag it—the wheels were too packed with snow and ice to roll properly.
• This morning I pulled out into traffic on my way to work, and my tires wouldn’t grab the pavement. I was turning left and had traffic from both directions coming at me, and there I was, inching along despite my foot heavily on the gas. If it’s that icy, those cars aren’t gonna stop just because I’m in their way. I got there safely, but it was a long and awful commute.

I have too many thoughts cluttering my brain to have any hope of writing a coherent, let alone interesting, post. I’m hoping a numbering system will assist in sharing a few highlights from the last few days in an organized and comprehensible manner. Also, this may prevent me from lighting my keyboard on fire.

1. In case you can’t read the small print over there on the Currently Reading book cover, Robin is lending me The Dive from Clausen’s Pier.

2. Speaking of Robin, she visited me this weekend while Brad was bachelor-partying it up on a white water rafting trip in West Virginia. Who goes to WV for a weekend to white water raft as a bachelor party? Brad’s friends, of course (no, it wasn’t a party for Brad, so don’t go searching for a wedding announcement in number 3). I think they’re crazy, but it gave Robin a chance to come spend time with me. I showed her where I work, brought her to my favorite used book store, introduced her to the local dive we call a movie theatre to see The Devil Wears Prada, and showed her the new apartment!

3. Yes the new apartment. The little hen who fends off dirty men made a stroke of the pen and the search did end. Uh huh. We signed the lease on Thursday, and later that night we brought dinner to the new place, ate standing up at our new kitchen counter, and discussed furniture arrangements. We visited again last night to hold paint sample cards up to the walls in the living room. We’re thinking about painting at least that room so we don’t die from White Wall Overdose in the next year. Because WWOD is a serious condition of which we are very frightened, we’re leaning toward a nice Dried Grass color at the moment.

Also, the last two times we visited the apartment (we like to go there regularly now that we have the keys, even though we don’t move for two weeks), the door has been wide open and our upstairs neighbor’s Isuzu Trooper has been parked in our carport. Do you think these two things are connected in anyway?

Update: Brad just talked to the landlord who explained the open door phenomenon as just maintenance (but at 10:00 at night?), and he said he’d have a little talk to Mr. Trooper for us.

4. With only two weeks left as a full-time volunteer, I celebrated with my fellow VISTAs on Friday. Instead of going to work, we all met for a day of canoeing, eating and hayriding. Two important things to mention from this day:
a) Ten minutes into canoeing, I found myself entangled in a petrified tree that was crawling with spiders (I tried to find a picture of the exact spiders that attacked me, and not only did I fail, but I think I might die now). I quickly learned that screaming and flailing your paddle around aimlessly do not accomplish anything in this situation. It took much longer than I ever would have liked to get out of the tree, and I cannot speak of how many spiders touched me without breaking down, so I can’t say anymore about how traumatized I am. It’s very though, trust me.
b) We did VISTA mock elections, and there were plenty of categories for everyone to win something. So guess how many I won? None. Apparently I left no impression whatsoever on these people. The person who tallied the votes tried to convince everyone that I won Best Hair, but with one look at my head, they knew it wasn’t true. She was just being nice. So instead, she was forced to make up an award for me, and I was presented with the VISTA Royalty award because I’m one of the nuts who served two whole years.

I feel like the numbering system only created a mess and possibly more confusion. Yes?

One reason my boyfriend makes me crazy with love:
He’s reading a book. No, I’m serious. He’s reading a BOOK! Reading is one of my most favorite things to do, and talking about books is another. But he’s not a big reader; not a big book reader at least. He reads magazines and graphic novels and lots of things on the internet, but not books (let’s not argue about the graphic novel thing, you know what I mean). He tried to get into one book about a year ago, but it still sits on his nightstand, unfinished.

I’m totally cool with his different interests, but I always hoped someday he’d discover a book or two that he would actually read. And enjoy. So when, after a conversation about The DaVinci Code, he told me he might like to read it, I all but ripped my copy out of my sister’s hands and gave it to him. Read? Yes! Here, take this, start here. Need a bookmark?

And he’s been a reading fool ever since! It took him a couple days to actually open the cover, but since he did, it’s not rare to see my boy curled up in bed. Reading a book. I can’t even talk about it anymore because I might jinx it. Shhh…

One reason Brad makes me just plain crazy:
Ever since he got his Blackberry, he has been constantly connected to the world. Everytime he gets an email to one of his many accounts, the Blackberry makes a Brrlling! sound. An instant message or chat. Brrlling! An appointment reminder. Brrlling! A phone call. Well then it’s more of a RRIIINNGG!

And the thing is literally attached to his hip. In a holster. At every Brrling! or RRIIINNGG! he’s like a cowboy in a western shootout. A cowboy with the fastest draw, let me tell you.

At first, he immediately responded to every single Brrling! or RRIIINNGG! the device made. He even texts and chats and emails and surfs the internet while driving down the road. Or while I’m talking to him. But he’s gotten better, often giving priority to whatever he’s doing at the time, like talking to me, and not to the Brrling!s and RRIIINNGG!s of the Blackberry. So I thank him for that.

However, the thing that really drives me crazy is that whenever I call him, he never answers. He always has a perfectly reasonable excuse, I admit, but I always expect that when I call him, he’s going to answer. I see him answer every other call or email or text he ever gets, and plus I’m his girlfriend, I’m priority! But when I call, his phone is always upstairs or downstairs or in his Jeep. Always somewhere he’s not. Or maybe it’s still on silent from when he was at that one thing earlier. I know he’s telling the truth, but it frustrates the hell out of me.

He’s one of the most connected people I know, always has the world attached right there on his hip. Except when I call.

Latest discovery: Men are (subconciously I suppose) more attracted to women whose hip to waist ratio is closer to the ideal. The ideal, you ask? Well that would be .7. I still remember my measurements from that one dress fitting that revealed just how “hour glass” figured I am, so of course I broke out the calculator. My ratio? That’s right, .69! Obviously I’m hot. Wait…I don’t think they’ve taken height into consideration here. Forty-two inch hips sitting only a few inches below a 29-inch waist isn’t nearly as hot as a 26-inch waist and 38-inch hips on a tall beautiful model. Except me. Cuz yeah, I’m pretty hot.

Lastest annoyance: Shopping from a registry in Target (if you’re reading Bon, now you know where your shower gift is from!). Nothing on the paper was actually in the store, much like those people wearing the red shirts. Apparently they weren’t in the store either. I spent 45 minutes trying to find something…anything…I’ll even buy this toilet plunger if only I could find it!, from the damn registry. And when I finally picked something and headed for the checkout, two people, TWO PEOPLE IN RED, asked if they could help me find something. Too late bitches, where were you 45 minutes ago?

Latest mistake: I suck at making American Idol predictions. Never listen to me.

Latest addition: Did you notice the Currently Reading section over there on the right? Brad did that for me. You can watch the progress bar slowly approach 100% as I toil through the 862 pages of small type in Gone with the Wind. When I’m done, I’ll update it with each new book I read.

Latest addiction: Brain Training. Anyone with a DS knows what I’m talking about. Brad bought Brain Age on Tuesday and it’s so much fun. Each day you do training where you complete a series of mind puzzles. Math equations, reading out loud, and other fun things that you’ll just have to see because my brain isn’t smart enough yet to describe them to you. And then each day you test your brain age. Twenty is the ideal, and the higher the number, the more tired your brain is. On my first brain age check I was 59! On my second I was down to 29. Phew! I’ve discovered two things from this new game: 1) I’m terrible at simple math equations, when did this happen? and 2) I love sudoku. The game also has soduko puzzles on it that aren’t part of the brain training. I didn’t think I’d really like those puzzles, but turns out, well, it turns out I love you a little bit, sudoku. I’ll see ya tonight?

One of the best things in life is to be around someone who has the same sense of humor as you. Rather than giving you confused and terrified glances, they laugh at the sarcastic remarks you make and the silly things you say. Then they come back with something equally witty! I love to laugh and I’ve often been told I “laugh too much” (god forbid). But if you can’t find humor in life, what else is there?

I always knew that the most important quality I could find in a man is laugh-ability. Someone I can laugh at and with. Someone who just got me and my jokes and my silliness.

After we met, but before we even really hung out, B and I exchanged witty banter through email for months. That eventually turned into real life witty banter, and we haven’t quit since. The sound of his laughter is one of the best sounds in my world. His sense of humor and how well it meshes with mine is one of the first things that made me fall in love with him, and it’s one of the things I know will keep us together. As long as we just keep laughing…

*

Happy Birthday honey, and thanks for all the laughter. I love you!

(*He hates this picture, but I’m risking his anger (even on his birthday) because I love it. I can hear him laughing when I look at it, and what’s happier than that?)

I’ve been reading a lot lately. Four books so far this month. Reading makes me happy, it fills my time, it gives my hands and my eyes and my brain something to do.

I didn’t make a new year’s resolution to read more this year or anything, but I should have because so far I’ve been a reading machine. Yes, a machine that reads. I think this speaks volumes about how much free time I have these days. I love having my evenings free and being anti-social. Surely this is the life I’m meant to live.

Anyway, every book I pick up turns out to be gold. Well gold in the sense that it’s really enjoyable, so if you’re looking for something to read, try these:

Egalia’s Daughters. It’s a satire of the sexes. It’s about a society in which men posses what we consider typical “female” roles and characteristics, and vice versa. I read it in college for some English course, and I pulled it out again to remind myself that so much of what we “know” and accept to be true is just a result of our perceptions passed along through time. It’s pretty entertaining.

Kite Runner. I was worried that this was going to be a book about foreign policy that I’d have no hope of understanding. Turns out it’s a really great story about a boy and another boy and some other people. I won’t give it away, but don’t be intimidated by the back cover description.

Lolita. A nymphet? I mean come on, you gotta read it. It’s not the sexually lewd novel you might be hoping for, but Brad said I was “obsessed” with this book the whole time I was reading it. He’d leave the room for a second and come back to find me once again engrossed in this story.

The Bridge of San Luis Rey. This was on my “to read someday” list forever, so I finally bought it at the used book store, and after it sat on my shelves for a few months, I gave it a go. It’s pretty short and it was a genuinely interesting story, so I read it in two days. It doesn’t befuddle you with complicated language or confusing plots. It’s simple, yet discretely intertwined.

Now I’m reading Watchmen. It’s a graphic novel. Brad introduced me to this genre, and although I was skeptical at first, I’ll admit I’m now a bit captivated. Apparently this one is on some Top 100 Books list, alongside the likes of Hemingway and Salinger and other greats. So far I’m not disappointed.

This is really long and annoying, but I love reading, so I went through the whole list anyway. And since I did, I need to do something with it. Stolen from someone else, can’t remember…

List of the top 110 banned books (of all time). Bold the ones you’ve
read. Italicize the ones you’ve read part of. Underline the ones you
specifically want to read (at least some of). Read more. Convince
others to read some.
#1 The Bible
#2 Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
#3 Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes
#4 The Koran
#5 Arabian Nights
#6 Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
#7 Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift
#8 Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
#9 Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
#10 Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
#11 The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
#12 Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe (I just bought this!)
#13 Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
#14 Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
#15 Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
#16 Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
#17 Dracula by Bram Stoker
#18 Autobiography by Benjamin Franklin
#19 Tom Jones by Henry Fielding
#20 Essays by Michel de Montaigne
#21 Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
#22 History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
#23 Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
#24 Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
#25 Ulysses by James Joyce
#26 Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio
#27 Animal Farm by George Orwell
#28 Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
#29 Candide by Voltaire
#30 To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
#31 Analects by Confucius
#32 Dubliners by James Joyce
#33 Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
#34 Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
#35 Red and the Black by Stendhal
#36 Das Capital by Karl Marx
#37 Flowers of Evil by Charles Baudelaire
#38 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
#39 Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence
#40 Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
#41 Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser #
42 Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchel
#43 Jungle by Upton Sinclair
#44 All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
#45 Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx
#46 Lord of the Flies by William Golding
#48 Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
#49 Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
#50 Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
#51 Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
#52 Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant
#53 One Flew Over the Cuckoo\’s Nest by Ken Kesey
#54 Praise of Folly by Desiderius Erasmus
#55 Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
#56 Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X
#57 Color Purple by Alice Walker
#59 Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke
#60 Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
#61 Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe
#62 One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
#63 East of Eden by John Steinbeck
#64 Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
#65 I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
#66 Confessions by Jean Jacques Rousseau
#67 Gargantua and Pantagruel by Francois Rabelais #
68 Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
#69 The Talmud
#70 Social Contract by Jean Jacques Rousseau
#71 Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
#72 Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence
#73 American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
#74 Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
#75 Separate Peace by John Knowles
#76 Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
#77 Red Pony by John Steinbeck
#78 Popol Vuh
#79 Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith
#80 Satyricon by Petronius
#81 James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
#82 Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
#83 Black Boy by Richard Wright
#84 Spirit of the Laws by Charles de Secondat Baron de Montesquieu
#85 Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
#86 Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
#87 Metaphysics by Aristotle
#88 Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
#89 Institutes of the Christian Religion by Jean Calvin
#90 Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse
#91 Power and the Glory by Graham Greene
#92 Sanctuary by William Faulkner
#93 As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
#94 Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin
#95 Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
“,1]
);

//–>
#47 Diary by Samuel Pepys
#48 Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
#49 Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
#50 Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
#51 Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
#52 Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant
#53 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
#54 Praise of Folly by Desiderius Erasmus
#55 Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
#56 Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X
#57 Color Purple by Alice Walker
#59 Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke
#60 Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
#61 Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe
#62 One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
#63 East of Eden by John Steinbeck
#64 Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
#65 I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
#66 Confessions by Jean Jacques Rousseau
#67 Gargantua and Pantagruel by Francois Rabelais #
68 Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
#69 The Talmud
#70 Social Contract by Jean Jacques Rousseau
#71 Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
#72 Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence
#73 American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
#74 Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
#75 Separate Peace by John Knowles
#76 Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
#77 Red Pony by John Steinbeck
#78 Popol Vuh
#79 Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith
#80 Satyricon by Petronius
#81 James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
#82 Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
#83 Black Boy by Richard Wright
#84 Spirit of the Laws by Charles de Secondat Baron de Montesquieu
#85 Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
#86 Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
#87 Metaphysics by Aristotle
#88 Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
#89 Institutes of the Christian Religion by Jean Calvin
#90 Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse
#91 Power and the Glory by Graham Greene
#92 Sanctuary by William Faulkner
#93 As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
#94 Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin
#95 Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
#97 General Introduction to Psychoanalysis by Sigmund Freud
#98 Handmaid\’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
#99 Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Alexander Brown
#100 Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
#101 Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman by Ernest J. Gaines
#102 Emile by Jean Jacques Rousseau #
103 Nana by Emile Zola
#104 Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
#105 Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin
#106 Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
#107 Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
#108 Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
#109 Ox-Bow Incident by Walter Van Tilburg Clark
#110 Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
“,1]
);
D(["mb","

--
-Shan
",0]
);
D(["ce"]);
D(["ms","404"]
);

//–>
#96 Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
#97 General Introduction to Psychoanalysis by Sigmund Freud
#98 Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
#99 Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Alexander Brown
#100 Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (just bought this too!)
#101 Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman by Ernest J. Gaines
#102 Emile by Jean Jacques Rousseau #
103 Nana by Emile Zola
#104 Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
#105 Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin
#106 Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
#107 Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
#108 Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
#109 Ox-Bow Incident by Walter Van Tilburg Clark
#110 Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

All the men in my life are making me crazy! I usually try not to generalize about an entire gender like this, but right now, if you’re a man in my life, chances are you’re driving me nuts.

Despite this, I had a decent weekend. Friday I went bowling with Brad (this is a different Brad than in previous posts, try to keep up), but he seemed a little too anxious to get out of there (and away from me?). My guess is he had a hot date later that night. So I was in by 10ish and proceeded to be bored the rest of the night.

Saturday I continued to be bored until I went and saw Jake Blough in a high school play. Okay fine, it wasn’t really Jake, but I swear this kid was his twin. Picture Jake in high school, the way he looks, the way he moves and talks, the way he acts on stage. That is what I saw Saturday night at my uncle’s production of Pippin. I tried to like this kid who had a HUGE part and was constantly on stage, but I couldn’t get past his Jake-ness. Not that I have any reason to strongly dislike Jake, but ya’ll know what I’m talking about here right? Man, shut up, stop talking about Jake Blough for god’s sake!

Sunday I used my gift certificate to buy some reading material for my trip: A Clockwork Orange and Uncle Tom’s Cabin. And I still have $10 left to spend there! Later I saw Million Dollar Baby with Brian. I already knew what happened in the movie, but it was good anyway. Yes Brian is one of the men driving me crazy, and yes he was doing so last night. Why? Why why why are the men I know always so damn dramatic?

Friday night I went to dinner with three women who are in their 40s or 50s. But it was actually fun. Why is it that I often get along better with people twice my age than I do my actual peers? Then I went home and watched Joan of Arcadia with another woman in her 50s. And I read. A lot. I finished “On the Road” and it confirmed that I need to get out of here fast.

Saturday I finished reading the essays I’m judging for the Women’s History Council. That was fun, but dear God do all high schoolers write so…the same? All the essays sounded the alike, they were all blurring together by the end.

In case you ever want to write an essay with the topic “Women Change American Rights”*, here’s the
Intro: some attempt at a cute present-tense synopsis of women’s rights. ie: “Women have come a long way in the last decade. They used to be considered little more than property of men. Blah blah. But thanks in part to [well-known figure in women's history] that’s no longer true.
Second paragraph: “[well-know figure in women's history] was born in Who Cares USA on Not That Important Date. She grew up, got married, did this and did that, unrelated to the topic of this essay.”
Paragraphs 3-6ish: Some basic information obviously pulled right from your entirely online sources. Don’t even think about using a single original thought though, stick to the facts!
Conclusion: Basically repeat intro.

*Even though we didn’t ask for it, it’s important that you do a biography. Whether or not this person’s entire life story is relevant to the topic is not important. Make sure you tell us all the mundane details to fill up space.

In the afternoon I met Robin in EL. We attempted to find bathing suits for our trip, but we spent most of the time laughing at how ridiculous we looked. Or at least I did. She’s much more bathing-suit worthy than I am. Then we just ended up trying on a bunch of hilarious prom dresses. Robin you should go back and buy that little pink&black number. We finally gave up on the whole shopping business and went to dinner at Thai Kitchen. Then we got coffee (um, chai for me actually, raspberry something or other for her), and talked about our upcoming trip and our potential move to CA.

Sunday I met with the other essay judges and we managed to pick three winners. One on Carrie Chapman Catt, one on Margaret Sanger, one on Rosa Parks. Congrats kids. Then I went to Brian’s. We had pizza and saw The Aviator. And that was my weekend. Only four days of work this week and I’m going home! Tra la la.

My weekend was supposed to be spent alone and I was thrilled. But Mary got the flu and spent the whole weekend on the couch, totally cramping my style. Even though it is her house I’m living in. Damn.

I did do some fun stuff though–went to a latin/caribbean/African-American group’s concert, bought supplies for my Christmas present making endeavors, checked out a huge used book sale, tried a new church (first the time in a very long time), started my Christmas present making endeavors, read a lot, slept a lot, watched tv a little. I finished “The Bell Jar” and started “Prozac Nation”. That’s two books about depression and mental health in row. Unintentionally. Wondering if I’m supposed to be realizing something here.

I appreciate everyone’s insight on this. I appreciate that you all had some real thoughts and advice, I needed that. Just in response to a few things: I don’t appreciate the implication that women were created to amuse God and man. And no, I don’t need a bigger/stronger/richer/better man to get where I want to go, and I don’t need to change guys to get where I want to go. The problem is, I know where I want to go and I know how to get there. But my Person B doesn’t want to go there! So the question was, do I stay with him now, if I won’t be with him later? Nowhere did I say that I needed to “change guys” to get anywhere. More accurately, I don’t know if I can have a guy while I’m busy doing the things I want to do.

“What in the world is going to change in your world to make this guy go from qualified to hold an intimate relationship with you to utterly worthless?” Uh…my location in the world. I want to move out of Michigan soon, I want to do Peace Corps in a few years, etc. B doesn’t want to come along, and that’s fine with me. It has nothing to do with me becoming too good for him to be in my world anymore. We just have different goals. Not every relationships has to lead to marriage. We don’t have the spoken commitment that Ang and Kevin did, so it’s not like I’m bold-faced lying to him.

By circumstance and luck mostly, we ended up in the same town for now. I’m still doing something I want to do, it just happens to be near him. That’s what I mean when I say the relationship works for now. Someday, though, “what I want to do” won’t be near him. And I’m fine with not having a boyfriend so that I can pursue my goals at this point in my life. If he’s perfectly aware of all this, then why can’t we just enjoy the company for now? It’s nice being with someone who I’ve known for a few years and who I’m comfortable with. What’s so horrible about that?

I told him: I’m looking into things that will take me away from you in the near future. If you don’t want to be with me now, I understand. And he chose to be with me now. Maybe it’s because he won’t accept that I’m serious, but is it really my responsibility to end it now anyway? I don’t know. Honestly, I appreciate advice. Just don’t be condescending….Justin.:)