Category Archives: Not in a relationship

Making it worse

Posted on September 7, 2008 by Shannon

I took your advice, I started counseling. Sort of. My employer offers an employee assistance program so I could get a few sessions free, then be referred if necessary. Since I didn’t know where else to go, I tried that. … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, My anatomy, Not in a relationship | 11 Comments

Four years ago…

Posted on September 1, 2008 by Shannon

It was four years ago today when I met Brad. It was at 3:00pm. We used to remember the circumstances together sometimes, going over what the other was thinking the very first time we spoke. We also used to say … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Not in a relationship | 6 Comments

Over time

Posted on August 28, 2008 by Shannon

Six years ago I was an undergraduate student. I met Brian at the store where we both worked. After a couple months, we started hanging out and together we had a really fun summer. Six years ago I was sitting … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Not in a relationship | 2 Comments

How much longer do I have to do this?

Posted on August 28, 2008 by Shannon

Last night I was feeling kind of okay. I actually went a whole 20 minutes at one point without thinking about Brad, the breakup or anything related. I wasn’t feeling amazing, but I didn’t feel like I was going to … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Not in a relationship | 6 Comments

She may be weary

Posted on August 26, 2008 by Shannon

Breathe. Sometimes I have to remind myself to exhale. Sometimes I have to take a deep breath to steady myself. Sometimes I stop in the middle of what I’m doing so I can close my eyes, breathe and stop the … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, My anatomy, Not in a relationship, grad school | 6 Comments

Another fall

Posted on August 25, 2008 by Shannon

Me. Sitting on the steps outside my sister’s house. Alone. Sobbing, shaking, rocking, choking for breath. Wishing someone would come find me and wrap me in their arms. That was yesterday. I haven’t felt that bad in weeks, and it … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Not in a relationship | 8 Comments

Some days

Posted on August 23, 2008 by Shannon

Today was a bad day. Yesterday was good, but today was bad. That’s pretty much how my life has been lately. I’ve tried to write about it, but I can’t seem to accurately describe how I’m feeling, so I just … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Family, Friends, Not in a relationship | 8 Comments

Insignificance

Posted on August 10, 2008 by Shannon

I want to go to bed – I’m tired – but I can’t. For the first time since he left me, I’d rather stay up than go to bed alone. Brad and I rarely ever went to bed at the … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Family, Not in a relationship | 16 Comments

Difficult times

Posted on August 7, 2008 by Shannon

This roller coaster stuff is not working for me. I don’t like seeing a glimmer of hope for the future just to have the shades pulled down, leaving me feeling dark and lonely again. Yesterday evening I felt pretty okay. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Family, Friends, Not in a relationship | 6 Comments

Medicinal comfort

Posted on August 6, 2008 by Shannon

Well, I’m officially on Xanax. Or at least I have a small pill bottle handy for when I need it… which I hope isn’t often. I’m glad I saw a doctor, but I must admit that I felt a little … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, My anatomy, Not in a relationship | 3 Comments

It keeps getting worse

Posted on August 5, 2008 by Shannon

Everything fell apart last night. Again. Everything is so much worse. I thought I was on my way to being better, but I’m back where I started. I thought I had already hit rock bottom, but this feels lower. My whole … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Not in a relationship | 9 Comments

They love me, he loves me not

Posted on August 4, 2008 by Shannon

People are starting to catch on at work. They ask me what’s wrong and when I say I’m fine, they come up with their own reasons. Are you tired? Not feeling well? I just agree with them. It’s easier to … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Family, Friends, My anatomy, Not in a relationship | 4 Comments

Still sinking

Posted on August 1, 2008 by Shannon

Things are getting worse around here. I’m not handling this well at all. Which is hard for me because I normally handle things pretty well. I don’t know how to do this. I sent a desperate and pathetic email to … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Family, Friends, Not in a relationship | 14 Comments

Something’s missing

Posted on July 29, 2008 by Shannon

I had a dream last night that broke my heart all over again. Ever since the break up, one of the hardest things for me to deal with is the idea of Brad dating someone else. The mere thought, the … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Not in a relationship | 10 Comments

No better

Posted on July 26, 2008 by Shannon

Yesterday I bought a huge blended mocha frappuccino. I never buy coffee drinks except the occasional chai tea when I want to treat myself. This drink was ridiculously huge, incredibly rich, way too expensive and terribly unhealthy. I thought it … Continue reading →

Posted in Brad, Not in a relationship | 11 Comments