I don’t want to talk about boobs for a minute, and since there’s not much else going on in my life, I thought I’d show off some of recent crafty work. I like to do this once in awhile because I’m glad I have at least one talent, and come on, don’t you guys want to buy this crap from me? My Etsy shop went defunct long ago because nobody seems to care about hand-stitched custom embroidery. Although, maybe I’m just not a good saleswoman because other people are apparently making BANK with this talent!

These kind of hand-embroidered numbers are going for $35!

I love stitching. It soothes me, and it’s one of the few things I can do for hours without getting bored. I often can’t sit through a 2 hour movie without getting antsy, but put an embroidery project in my hands and I’m captivated.

I just bought 25 of these blank baby bibs (at a nice discounted price!) because I like to make custom gifts for the new babies in my life. A friend had a baby on Wednesday, and over the weekend I made him this:

Want one for a baby in your life? I’ll make you one! (Here are a few more baby bibs I’ve done.)

A little craft update since I can’t sleep (again). As you know, my nephew Brady was born a couple weeks ago, and I embroidered his name on a (decorative, not functional) bib. I’ve done this for many of the special kids in my life. Here’s Brady’s:

Not my best work, but those bibs are hard to work with.

Also, I finished my dad’s christmas gift, and now that he’s opened it, I can share:

I think he liked it. The idea was to spend no more than $4.44 on a gift, and since I had all the materials for this on hand – fabric, embroidery floss, frame – it was basically free.

Next I’m working on some gifts and some decorative stuff for the wedding. And eventually the “Unity Quilt” of course.

Since I finished grad school, I have had a little more time to get back into crafting. I didn’t do much when I was in school, so it feels good to pick up my needle and thread again.

My sister Andrea is having a baby any day now (well, sometime in the next month and a half technically), and she commissioned a baby blanket. She bought some stuff for the nursery, but couldn’t find a blanket that didn’t make her gag with attempted cuteness. So we went shopping and picked out fabrics. I embroidered his name (I told her she CANNOT change her mind now!) and sewed up a blanket for him.

And now I’m working on a gift for my dad. Hopefully he doesn’t read this blog. He knows about it and has seen it, but I don’t think he reads on a regular basis. Just in case…

DAD, LOOK AWAY RIGHT NOW PLEASE!

My dad is a mountain man at heart, and thought maybe I could combine my embroidery skills with his love for the mountains. So I searched Google images for pictures of mountains to use for inspiration. Then I sketched:

I really liked the look of it, so next I dug through my collection of fabrics and embroidery floss to find a color scheme.

I didn’t want to be literal: greys and blues and greens. Instead I wanted something monochromatic, and I knew browns would suit my dad well. Next I sketched my drawing onto the fabric in a slightly larger scale. It should end up fitting in an 8×10 frame if I decide to frame it. And then it was time to start stitching!

After working on it this weekend, I’m done with the tree and about halfway through the mountains. I haven’t decided what I’ll do with it when I’m done. Frame it maybe. More pictures to come.

I’ve been done with graduate school for almost two months, and I gotta say: it’s brilliant. I want to be done with school all the time! I like classes and I like learning, and I’ll probably find myself going back one day because I imagine it’s like child birth in that it sucks while it’s happening but then you quickly forget how much it sucked and agree to do it again. But right now I still remember vividly how much it sucked, at least at times, and I’m very much enjoying the not-in-school thing.

Here’s what I’ve been doing with all that extra time:

- Going to a hell of a lot of weddings, bridal showers, bachelorette parties and baby showers
- Taking an online Creating Web Pages class to learn a little more about how that whole deal works
- Trying to find a good volunteer fit (I have a meeting tonight with a cool place, fingers crossed!)
- Watching way too much Buffy the Vampire Slayer – we’re currently cruising through Season 5
- Reading, reading, reading
- Working
- Brainstorming ways to afford my student loan payment in the likely event that I won’t have a much better paying job by the time they start billing me
- Gaining weight – apparently the stress of school helped me keep it off (maybe I should go back for that reason alone)
- Attempting to get back into crafting – anyone need anything custom embroidered?
- Cuddling my so-fucking-cute cat
- Cuddling my so-fucking-cute fiancé
- Planning a wedding and documenting the process

Somehow I feel like I still never have enough time to do anything. How did I ever go to class and do homework while also doing normal life?

Things that have been going on:

1. Brad and I tried a new Mexican restaurant last Friday, one we’ve been wanting to go to for awhile. One that’s famous for its wet burritos. I ordered a shredded beef wet burrito, and when they brought it the table, I drooled all over it. I dug my fork in, salivating for that first delicious bite, and before I got the fork to my mouth I saw it. A tomato. Thinking it was probably just a stray, I dug a little further. Tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes! Everywhere! Why do those little fuckers haunt me? I had to send the whole thing back, and because I felt so bad, I lied and said I was allergic to them. And because the shredded beef is cooked with tomatoes and there’s no escaping them, I had to go with ground beef. So not the same. I’ve been craving delicious Mexican ever since.

2. I got my haircut on Tuesday, and the whole ordeal took over four hours. The weather was awful, so it took me 45 minutes to drive to the salon. I met my sister there because we have the same stylist and thought it would be fun to go together and hang out while getting beautified. I sat through my sister’s color, wash, rinse, cut and style before it was my turn. I told her to go ahead and skip the blow dryer and flat iron—I was just going out in the storm and then going to bed anyway! Plus I wanted to save the extra money it costs. But she refused to let me leave with a poof on my head and insisted on styling. I protested; she insisted. And then she charged me for it. The drive home took another 45 minutes, and I didn’t get anything productive done that night. But I did spend time with my sister, so it was worth it.

3. School work is picking up a bit. It’s time to start some of those big projects and quit doing the bare minimum. I wish I could look forward to spring break in a few weeks, but it really does me no good as I have to work all week anyway. And I don’t think I get much of a break from my online class.

4. I’ve had zero time to craft lately, and it’s starting to depress me. I finally have an entire area devoted to crafts, and it sits there stagnant, calling out for attention. Cries which I must ignore.

5. I haven’t been into American Idol this year mostly because I keep forgetting it’s on. But some people at work were discussing it this morning in the break room, and suddenly I found myself in a pool to pick the winner. I’m supposed to pick a guy and a girl from the top 24 who I think will win, but unfortunately I don’t know a damn thing about any of them. I’m thinking about going by like “coolest name” or “best use of eye makeup” or something. If you’re a fan and have some tips on who to pick, help a girl out!

6.  I’m thinking about using my crock pot for the second time (since Christmas! I suck) this weekend to make chili. But I don’t have a good recipe. Anyone want to share theirs? My only rules are that it can’t be really hot (as in spicy), and it can’t be heavy on the beans because even though I love them, Brad doesn’t. We need a good compromise recipe.

That’s it. Hope you feel caught up.

Awhile ago, back when I was in danger of being jobless and homeless, I thought about starting an Etsy shop to try to sell some of my crafts, namely my custom hand-stitched embroidery. Soon after I added some items, I went through the whirlwind of moving and then finding and starting a new job. And school. So, well, I kind of forgot about my Etsy shop. When I logged in a couple weeks ago I realized that all my listings had expired.

Today I finally went in there and clicked “renew” on all—a whopping four—of my listings, and then I figured I better at least let someone one know this thing exists, otherwise what good is it? All I really offer is custom orders, so I don’t anticipate selling much, but it’s worth putting out there anyway because you never know.

So if you’re ever in the market for some hand-stitched custom embroidery, or know someone who is, you should visit my shop. Or, you know, just email me. Whatever.

When I posted my last craft project, a house-warming gift for a friend, a friend from work subtely mentioned that she had just moved into a new apartment, too. I was looking for another project anyway so I immediately got started on something for her. In another act of shameless self-promotion, here it is:

A glimpse at the process and necessary tools

Finished project

Upclose look at the detail

If you know anyone who would be interested in this kind of thing, please send them my way. I really enjoying doing these things as gifts, but I wouldn’t mind selling them either. The great thing is that they can be totally personalized. Show me a design you like and I’ll recreate it in embroidery. I can frame it, make a pillow, a small blanket, whatever. I’m open to ideas! I also do names and initials or words.

I’m in a bit of a financial, uh, situation right now (the reasons to be revealed soon, I promise) and could really use any extra buck I can get. I’m thinking of opening an Etsy shop, but I’d rather do custom orders if there’s interest.

Not that I think this is gonna pay dem bills, but I thought I’d throw it out there. If you know anyone who’d be interested in a hand-embroidered craft, send them my way yo!

Didn’t do much for the Fourth. Fireworks were Tuesday night, and since we conveniently live about two feet from where the show was, we avoided all traffic and parking issues by walking. We arrived about 20 minutes before showtime and were home within minutes of the finale. Then we sat comfortably in our apartment and watched everyone else stuck in their cars at the stop light for nearly an hour.

Wednesday felt like a weekend in the middle of the week, so it was great. We went to a matinee of Transformers, and I have to say, pretty kick ass. I’m a sucker for over-the-top special effects though. I mean come on, giant tranforming alien robots that look. so. real. And car chases and explosions and Optimus Prime fist-fighting Megatron. Laugh if you must, but I loved it. I was very upset with my bladder when it failed me and I was forced to miss 60 seconds of action for a bathroom break. I don’t care about all you critics, I’d see it again if I wasn’t so cheap.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Very un-Fourth of July-esque. We went for a bike ride, played on a swingset, [Foreman] grilled some burgers, and made smoothies. But I would have preferred to go to a picnic or a BBQ which is what my family was doing in GR. Without me. Can I move yet please?

And now it’s part two of the work week. Bleh. But in an effort to leave on a happier note, here’s my most recently completed craft project:

The left was inspired by the right. My friend Robin had requested “something embroidered” after I shamelessly showed off another recent project. I really liked the art on the right, so I recreated something similar with fabric and embroidery floss. Then I wasn’t sure what to do with it, so I made a pillow. It’s a pillow. In case you can’t tell. I used green fabric that I already had, and I’m a little upset that it doesn’t show off the white elements very well. But they’re there if you look close.

It’s not a great picture because I took it in the car on the way to bringing it to her. But in real life, it turned out pretty cool. She just moved into a new apartment, so I called it a house-warming gift. Too bad it doesn’t match her décor at all. Oops.

When I started this project I wasn’t even sure what a pillow sham was; I had to look it up. Then I had to look up a pattern for making one, which turned out to be pretty worthless actually, so I won’t even link to it. In the end I kind of just guessed, but I think it turned out alright.

I made it to go with a quilt that I had made for my little sister (age 6) awhile ago. I seriously just sort of faked my way through this, and other than a few hardly noticeable mistakes, I’m happy with it. I embroidered her name, cut the fabric, and sewed it together in some sensible fashion. If you’re ever interested in knowing how to make a pillow sham, I’d be happy to share my amateur process.

Now that I’ve given it away as a Christmas gift, I can proudly reveal my latest craft project. Here’s the backstory:

I drew my aunt’s name for Christmas, and knowing that she’s a creative person, I wanted to do something crafty and meaningful for her. First I looked up her name, Laurie, on some baby name websites to find the meaning of it. The definitions varied, but essentially it has something to do with laurel. Logically. Next, I searched for “laurel” on Google Images, collected a few I liked, and narrowed it down to this one, a piece called “Be a Laurel Tree” by Takano Saki:

From there, I sketched the image onto paper to enlarge it (I just did it freehand, which fortunately I’m able to do somewhat accurately. I didn’t know a better way.), then I re-sketched, very carefully, the image onto a piece of gray fabric. In order to embroider it, I had to divide certain larger sections into smaller ones—embroidery stitches can only be so wide. Then I selected five different colors of embroidery thread, ranging from white to black, and I set to work. I didn’t plan out the color placements, just figured it out as I went along, but I like the result:

I stitched in my “signature” at the bottom and the title on top, trimmed the fabric, stretched and stapled it to a piece of cardboard, stuck it in a simple silver frame, and voila! A meaningful and crafty gift for a wonderful aunt.

Only it wasn’t as simple as voila… I worked on this for a pretty long time, embroidering each stitch by hand. I embroidered while watching tv and movies, I embroidered instead of reading, I embroidered till my eyes and fingers hurt. But I loved it, it’s so meditative and relaxing. And I’m very happy with the outcome. I’m thinking of trying other names…once I regain feeling in my fingertips.

I made that whole “craft” category over there and then I never share anything about my crafts. So this post is written solely to show off some of the craft endeavors that have inadvertently gotten me addicted to bad television. Oh, and also to show off some damn cute babies.

That’s Brayden, my dear friend Amber’s incredibly edible baby boy. And that’s the ‘bib’ I hand-embroidered with his name.

And this equally edible little girl is my darling friend Erica’s baby, Ronia (it’s roh-NEE-uh, not RONE-ee-uh). And of course the ‘bib’ I embroidered with her name.

That’s been my thing lately, embroidery. I just finished another project I love, but it’s a christmas gift, so I can’t show it off yet.

If you find yourself needing to nibble on these babies’ faces, I can’t blame you. They are that deliciously cute! But I’m not willing to share, so back off.

Yesterday somebody asked me what I like to watch on tv. Um… yeah.

I thought fast to come up with something I watch that isn’t completely laughable, a show that isn’t totally mindless, maybe even a little bit respectable.

“The Office?” I offered. “Oh yeah, I love that show.” Phew, embarrassment averted.

And that’s when I realized my tv problem. I don’t have one or two shows that I must watch every week or I’ll tear my hair from my scalp. But I watch A LOT of tv, and none of it is really good.

It all started when I began some craft projects I’m working on. They’re the kinds of projects that you can curl up with in front of the tv, which means that I can half-watch a lot of crap. Every night that I’m able, I grab my project, curl up, and flip on the tube (god I hate that word). As a result, I’ve found myself a little bit obsessed with a variety of shows.

Again, none of these are so important to me that I need to buy Tivo or, god forbid, use the old tape and VCR method. I can stand to miss an episode of anything, and usually I don’t even notice. But despite my preference for a good book over any television, I’ve found myself very familiar with the happenings on a lot of poor programming*:

The Gilmore Girls
Deal or No Deal
The Bachelor Rome
What About Brian?
Dancing with the Stars
The Office
Grey’s Anatomy
Desperate Housewives
America’s Next Top Model (link not working)

And any of the random things they play on ABC Family, TNT, TBS and even HGTV. Yeah. I know. Pretty pathetic right? I mean if I loved these shows I could be like a tv guru, even be proud of everything I manage to follow along with. But instead, it’s just noise and color that flood my brain while I’m doing a quiet, passive project. It’s junk. Filling my brain. And I like it.

Yes I like it. I like watching crappy television. Lots and lots of crappy television. As long as my hands are busy doing something.

*Okay not all of it’s bad. I actually really like The Office and Gilmore Girls. But the rest I watch and enjoy just because I’m pathetic.

All I have to say is… Next year, I’m so doing geometric shapes:

I was trying to create Mario using nothing but an oversized and very malleable pumpkin carver. I was fine until I got to his eyes. The left one broke and the right completely caved in. So I quit.

We were going to do Mario and Bowser, but instead we got Brad’s expertly crafted villian and my rather Donald Duck looking thing.

Brad got upset with me for being a quitter, but I think every girl is allowed to quit a project with dignity before she chucks the whole thing out the second-story window.

Okay let’s start with the surprises. I actually uploaded the pictures last night, but then I got too lazy to post them until this morning. Drum roll please….

 and

Yep, that’s a sweet denim jacket and a fabulous card box!

I’ve always wanted a denim jacket, but for a long time I was convinced I couldn’t pull it off. Denim jackets can too easily look like honky ‘jean jackets’ on the wrong person. But I needed a spring jacket, so I went on the hunt. I was about to throw a fit at the mall because I can never find anything I want and I hate shopping, when suddenly B said “there’s some denim jackets” and a beam of light came down from the heavens and shown (shined?) brightly on this rack of beautiful jackets. Above the rack a sign read “60% off” and I knew God was speaking to me. I tried on two sizes, settled on the medium and paid 16.95 for a 50 dollar jacket. Am I hot or what? I made B take that picture so I could be sure the mirrors weren’t fooling me and I really didn’t look honky. So yay!

The card box is for my mom’s reception, the one I talked about here. I hated this project for awhile because nothing bonds ribbon to cardboard properly. I ended up using those double-sided sticky tabs that people use in scrapbooks. I used a super sturdy craft glue to hold the beads in place, and you can’t see it, but the inside is lined with orange wrapping paper that’s stuck with a combination of scrapbook tabs and clear glue. Anyway, I like the way it turned out, hopefully mom does too.

I have more to say, but I’ll let this soak in for awhile. I know the anticipation was almost too much and you need a chance to recover. Ha! (Really I just need to get some stuff done before I blog the whole morning away.)

Update: apparently everyone thought that box was HUGE based on the picture. It’s really less than a square foot in reality. Silly depth perception. Or whatever.

Yesterday in Michaels I was behind these ladies who were signing up for classes and buying shit and basically taking a long damn time. After awhile another cashier comes up to the same lane and kinda looks around for a second. Just then this couple saunters up to check out, and Cashier 2 realizes a line is forming. And nobody likes to wait in line right? So being the customer service oriented cashier she is, she walks over to another lane and says “I can help whoever’s next in line over here.”

Note her words: NEXT in line. That’s me right? Well the couple who had just sauntered up continued to saunter, more quickly now, over to this new open lane before I could even react. So I, who had already been waiting behind the two signing-up-for-classes-and-buying-shit ladies forever, had to continue to wait while the two we’re-assholes-who-don’t-understand-the-meaning-of-the-words-next-in-the-line people got to check out right away. I was so pissed, and if I wasn’t such a wimp I might have said something. Instead I just glared, and trust me they noticed. I bet they’re still buried in guilt over the incident.

Also, I was in Michaels on Saturday too, and I got stuck behind this lady who was buying approximately 574 sheets of scrap-booking paper, each individually marked. I really need to get control of my patience issues because I think if she had bought 575 sheets, I might have started slashing people with an Exacto knife.