All I wanted was a carport. A place to shelter my car from the winter snow. It should have been one phone call, one signature and out the door. But no.

Two weeks ago
The Giraffe calls our complex’s business office to inquire about available carports near our building. He’s told there will be one available on November 1 and we can come in the day before to claim it.

Friday, October 30
I call the business office to see if maybe we can get the carport a day early. I’m told there are now several available and to come on in. I call the Giraffe to let him know, and he informs me that he too just called the business office, talked to someone different, and was told he’d have to wait until Saturday as originally planned. I go in anyway.

There is mass confusion in the office about which carports are available, who can assist me and who can’t, where my building is located, what color the sky is and who the current president is. After way too much time has gone by, I am finally assigned a carport, a prime spot in fact, and sent on my way.

I get to my building and see another vehicle in my carport, so I park in a regular spot. I figure since it technically wasn’t available until November 1, maybe I have to wait until then to use it, and they just failed to tell me that.

Saturday, October 31
We go out of town.

Sunday, November 1
We return and there is still a car in my carport.

Monday, November 2
I call the business office. They check the records and tell me that the carport isn’t leased to anyone else and I should leave a note on their car asking them to move. This seems sketchy. So before I write a note, I scope out the car and see that they have the appropriate parking pass on their mirror. I can’t read the number, but I have a feeling there’s been a mix-up.

Tuesday, November 3
I call the business office again. Talk to someone different and explain the whole situation. She says she’ll get back to me.

Wednesday, November 4
I get a voicemail from the business office explaining that they had leased out that carport awhile ago to someone else and never updated their records. So yeah, I can’t park there. But there are two other carports available only a little further away, except they can’t seem to adequately explain to me where they are. They tell me to go find the carport, then call back if I want it.

I’m out running errands, so I call the Giraffe, just as he’s about to get in the shower, make him put clothes on and go out to find the carport. He says it’s in a good enough spot, so I call back and say I want it. Then I mention that we might want the other available one, as well, for the Giraffe. She says it’s almost the end of the business day, we should come in tomorrow to claim our carports.

Thursday, November 5
I drive home after work, even though I need to be somewhere on the other end of town in 30 minutes, and meet the Giraffe at the business office. We have to explain the whole situation again, and now they can’t find the original contract I signed for the first carport. So she has to draw up two new contracts while we wait.

Once everything is signed, she tells us that they don’t actually have anymore carport passes (the ones that hang from your mirror) to give the Giraffe. But don’t worry, he can park there anyway. Only, if maintenance happens to notice he doesn’t have the pass, they’ll leave him a note and he’ll just have to call explain the whole situation. Again. Because that’s not inconvenient at all.