Six years ago I was an undergraduate student. I met Brian at the store where we both worked. After a couple months, we started hanging out and together we had a really fun summer. Six years ago I was sitting in a summer class – Logic – completely distracted because I was thinking about this exciting new relationship I was starting. I couldn’t concentrate because I was so happy.
Today I am a graduate student. Today I sat in class – Management Seminar – completely distracted because I was thinking about a relationship that is ending. I couldn’t concentrate because I was so sad.
In six short years I went from being incredibly happy about beginning a relationship with one guy to breaking up with him and quickly getting back together, to breaking up again and breaking his heart, to meeting another guy and feeling even more elated and excited than before about starting a new relationship, to moving in with this guy, to becoming best friends, to becoming partners, to realizing we wanted to spend our lives together, to struggling to make it work despite all the love, to deciding to not live together but remaining committed to each other, to suddenly having my heart broken by him because it wasn’t enough anymore.
In six years. I was 21 when I met Brian. I was 24 when I met Brad. I’m now 27, six years older, and so much has changed. Where will I be in another six years? Will two more relationships have come and gone? Will my heart be broken again? Will I ever love again?
I’ll be 33, six years older, but what else will have changed?
I just wanted to let you know that even though I lurk on my rss feed to read here, I had to tell you that so much can change in even just one year, let alone SIX! You’ll look back on this as just another milestone in your life and be okay with it. Once this passes, you’ll have opened the door for better things.
I’ve totally been there where you are and thought the same things, and did it again (& again), and was broken again and healed again. And eventually you trust someone enough to marry them, maybe have babies, etc. But no one said life offers guarantees and you just have to be strong and ride out the rough spots, and it gets better eventually. Really, it does.
I hope you feel better soon. You are going to get through this.
The pain takes a while to heal. It sucks that you’re still in that place. It’s hard to be there. I also agree with Jennifer. Much can change in one year. Very much!