I suck at the dentist
I have another dentist story. I went yesterday for my six month cleaning, and the hygienist totally ripped at my gums. Normally I don’t mind the dentist because I have decent teeth and few problems, but something was going on yesterday. Plaque or tartar or something. She even offered to give me some topical anesthetic because I kept cringing. I declined because I’m tough, but dang. Ow! They hurt the rest of the night, and I couldn’t even eat my pasta dinner until it cooled down. Hot food hurts.
Also, I spit on myself a couple times. She kept putting the sucky tube thingy right on the tip of my tongue, blocking the hole, so instead of the water being sucked into the tube, it would spray out the side of my mouth. After the second time, she goes, “Don’t put your tongue on it, just close your mouth around it like a straw.”
Really? Cuz after 27 years I still haven’t figured out how to use the sucky tube at the dentist. Oh wait, maybe it’s because I don’t know how to use a straw. I’m supposed to close my mouth around it? Not stick my tongue in the hole? Damn, no wonder.
Of course by the time she reprimanded me, my mouth was jacked open with instruments so all I could do was say, “Eh hegh heh eh geh.”
When she took the tools out though, I clarified: “I think I keep spitting on myself because the ‘straw’ is at the edge of my tongue. It’s forcing the water out my mouth.” She humored me with a polite smile but basically ignored me. However, when she tried to use the sucky tube the next time, she realized where she was placing it. “Oh I guess I do keep putting it there. No wonder you keep spitting. Ha.”
Yeah. Well actually it’s because I’m an infant in an adult body. Not your fault at all.
May 20th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Urgh! I hate the dentist, they always guilt me into thinking I’m not taking care of teeth very well. The hygienist is always says things like “your gums are pretty red, yup they’re bleeding. Are you brushing three times a day, flossing, using Listerine, blah blah-blah…” Well, it couldn’t have anything to do w/ that sharp metal tool you keep scraping my gums with? Hmmm?!
P.S. I think Ira has Gingivitis. Maybe I’ll take him to the dentist next time too.
May 20th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
I hate the dentist. I have a nice one, and pretty nice teeth, but it’s still awful no matter what.
May 21st, 2008 at 1:29 am
I hate the damn dentist. The hygienists seem to really savor hurting their clients. What the hell?
May 21st, 2008 at 7:07 am
I went to the dentist about a month ago to get three cavities filled. My dentist is awesome. It’s the dentist where Kat works so she gets to work with my teeth too!! But when they were filled it pissed my teeth off to no end. Now it’s a month later and they still hurt. Although unlike yours hot doesn’t bother me. It’s cold. I had to let my fruit “heat up” before I could eat it.
So good luck with the teeth. And hopefully they didn’t piss them off.
May 21st, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Blech. I also hate it when they leave the polish on your teeth and you don’t get to rinse until the very end.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:07 am
This reminded me of an old episode of Dr. Katz. Bill Braudis is telling Dr. Katz about how rough his dental hygienist was, how she was just prodding and scraping away in his mouth. At one point the hygienist exclaimed that his gums were bleeding, to which he replied, “Well, they weren’t bleeding when I came in here. I’m pretty sure you’re doing that.” …. Cracks me up!
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Stupid dentist!
June 16th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Poor you.
It’s memories like those which make me floss.