doahleigh - Holy Waste of Teabags!

After reading about my sleeping troubles of late, crazy Kelly seems to think that maybe my body is telling me it wants to have babies!

Honestly, this sounds like what started to happen to me when my body betrayed me and suddenly wanted nothing but babies. It was a scary, uncomfortable, feeling, (at first) as I  had planned on being a feminist writer living alone in Manhattan. This nagging suddenly turned into a full blown obsession, shortly after, and you know the rest. Up to my elbows in poppy diapers now.

Interesting (crazy) thought, but I doubt that’s what it is. As we all know by now, I’ve never really had the desire to actually have children, as in birth them. I don’t deny that my body might change it’s mind someday, but I’ve so far been lacking in the female instinct to procreate. But since I do want to adopt children someday, maybe my body is telling me it would rather be awake tending to a toddler than sleeping in the middle of the night. Could Kelly be on to something?

Well if that’s the case body, you’ll just have to ignore that urge because my life soooo isn’t ready for babies right now.

Okay so the bed solution isn’t working out so great. I slept on the couch last night.

There were a few elements leading up to the move from bed to couch though, none of which seem directly related to the new feathers:

1. Heat. It was warmer than normal last night and with the down comforter, full-coverage pajamas and space heater, I was downright toasty. But I didn’t realize this was part of the problem until I moved.
2. Breathing. Brad is a loud breather when he sleeps. He doesn’t usually snore, he just… breathes loud. And rhythmically. It’s like Chinese water torture when I’m trying to fall asleep—I go insane from the rhythm of the breathing.
3. Jon & Kate. I watched Jon & Kate Plus 8 just before going to bed, and for some reason they invaded my thoughts. I couldn’t turn my brain off from thinking the stupidest things. Like which of their girls’ names did I like best? Which of the boys names? What names would I choose if I had sextuplets? Would I dress them alike? Would I even have time to dress them at all?

After a couple hours of tossing and turning, I gave up and went to the couch where, oddly, I slept great through the night. But now I can’t figure out what the problem is. It could be that even with the featherbed, our mattress is just too hard. Or it could be that the featherbed is making things worse. Or maybe it’s been my beyond perfect pillow all along. Maybe it’s just my body, or maybe it’s mental. Maybe there’s no solution, and this is my life forever.

It’s only been two nights with the featherbed though, so I’m not giving up yet. And if all else fails, I’ll just move the couch into the bedroom.

This weekend we finally attempted to solve our concrete slab problem (our bed in case you’re not following along). My brother and sister-in-law moved into a new house, and they had a whole queen-sized bed they were offering to get rid of. We went over there to check it out, and as soon as I got one shoulder on that thing and realized it felt less like a concrete slab and more like a small piece of heaven, I wanted it. Like now. But Brad had other thoughts. Like how are we going to get it all the way to our apartment? And it’s such a hassle to haul it up two flights of stairs. And what will we do with our old bed?

I tried to reason with him because surely my comfort and well-restedness was worth the hassle, but he coaxed me away with the promise that we’d find an amazing mattress topper that very weekend, and money would be no object. So on Sunday, out we went in search of a solution. We found it the shape of a Gel Top Featherbed from JCPenney. It was on sale, plus let’s just say we know people.

In the end though, it still cost more than an ENTIRELY FREE bed would have cost. And actually a little more than I wanted to spend on my sleeping arrangements since we also had to buy a mattress pad so our bodily fluids cups of hot tea that we like to drink in bed and might accidently spill won’t stain the unwashable featherbed. Plus, we had to buy a whole new set of sheets because all of our previously owned sheets were a size too small (we had been using full-sized sheets on our queen bed because the pockets on queen-sized sheets were too large for our thin dilapidated slab (I mean mattress), but with all the added padding none of our sheets fit anymore).

So now I bet you want to know how I slept last night. Like a baby? As if I were on a cloud? Well, not quite. The bed is definitely much improved because my arms didn’t fall asleep when I laid on my sides and I didn’t have any scratches on my knees or elbows (get it? because it’s concrete?). But I popped a couple Excederin PM pills last night before going to bed, and I think that stuff does weird things to my subconscious. I slept fine from 11 to 3, but the last few hours of sleep were riddled with bizarre dreams and half-conscious thoughts. It was not restful sleep at all.

But I blame that on the meds, not the bed.

Last weekend when we were planning the family sled day, Brad went out and bought us both a pair of snow pants. He’s a sweet man and underestimated the size of my birthing hips and bought me a size too small. We were simply going to exchange them for a larger size the next day before sledding, but since it was too blasted cold and the whole thing was called off, they sat in the bag all week.

Finally yesterday we decided to just return them. They cost $60, which is about four times as much as I’m willing to pay for something I’ll only wear once or twice. Had we actually gone sledding, I probably would’ve bit the bullet. And even if we hadn’t gone sledding, but they fit me right, I would have been too lazy to return them. Since neither happened, I decided there were better things to spend my sixty bucks on. All that is to get to the point where I can tell you about the conversation that took place just after we had returned the pants. It went like this:

S: Damn, I really liked those snow pants.
B: Yeah, if only they weren’t so expensive.
S: And if I wasn’t so fat.
B: Yeah, that too.

(Lest you should think he’s an insensitive man, I’ll explain that he only meant he wished he had bought the right size. But sometimes things are funnier when you say them wrong.)

Well look at that, I missed my blogaversary (anniblogary?) yesterday. I was laying in bed last night and thought, “Hmm, today seems special for some reason. What could it be? I seem to remember starting my blog in late January a couple years ago. And didn’t Brad just mention that the Doahleigh domain name was expiring again? Could it be?”

Sure enough. It was on January 24, 2006 that I wrote this gem. Oddly, it feels like much longer. I’ve had so much fun “meeting” new people and making new friends. I should have started this a lot sooner.

My hands are so dry lately. So is my face. And the rest of my skin. I remember always having drier skin in the winter, but this is ridiculous. I’m reaching for the lotion every half hour. I blame it on getting old.

That’s it, I’m in a hurry today. But dry skin, that’s important stuff to know.

NARAL is asking bloggers to write about why they vote pro-choice. Today is the 35th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision that legalized abortion. I like what Jessica said about her reasons for voting pro-choice, and she links to a lot of good information, so check it out. But my main reason for voting pro-choice is that I want to make my own decisions about my body. And I believe that all women should have that right.

Some people say that choice should come before the act of making babies. As if once you’ve had sex, you no longer get any say in what happens to you or your body. I think that’s a pretty poor perception of how the world works. People screw up, they make mistakes. Let’s stop trying to pretend like that’s not true, and let’s deal with reality.

Even if you don’t think abortion is “right” or wish women wouldn’t have them, do you really want the government to make that decision? For everyone?

I don’t. Not for me, not for my sisters, not for my (future?) daughters, not for any woman.

Why do you vote pro-choice? Or anti-choice as the case may be.

I thought you guys hated me for real this time! Usually WordPress sends me a notice when I get a new comment on a post, and so when I received ZERO comment notices on my last post, which practically begged for some comment-love, I thought I was officially that kid in high school that everyone hates and makes fun of secretly. Then I happened to actually look at my website today and saw that the post had 14 comments. Wow, obviously the comment notifier thingy is broken. Turns out you’ve been commenting all along. Oops! That’s what I get for blindly relying on technology. I’m thrilled that you’re all still out there and reading, and that you’d all let me sit at your lunch table. You’re all my favorite.

Now for a small complaint. I was grumpy most of the weekend. Why? Because it’s six below here. At least the wind chill is. That does not make for a happy Shannon. On Friday Brad suggested we plan a family sled day for Sunday. This is no easy task with a family as large as mine, but after many phone calls it looked like everyone would be able to join the fun.

Then on Sunday the Weather Channel informed me that it was NEGATIVE DEGREES outside, and plans quickly dissolved. No sledding for us. I’m not a big fan of winter sports (I cried all three times I tried skiing) or activities, but sledding with the whole family promised to be a good time. I was even willing to tolerate the snow for a day! But no, winter had to go and be a bigger assface and turn into frostbite weather.

Well, at least it was a good excuse to stay inside under a blanket and in front of the tv for most of the day.

Man, it kind of sucks when you go away for awhile in blog world. My posting waned for a couple weeks, and even though I tried to keep reading other blogs and commenting and staying active that way, now that I’m back more regularly, it’s like starting all over again. My readership is down, and my comments are pretty much non-existent. I have no social network!

It’s like having all these BFFs in high school, and then you go away to visit your German relatives for a semester, and when you come back you feel completely left out and end up eating lunch by yourself for awhile. I feel like I’m eating alone right now.

So the semester is in full-swing now. Thankfully I feel much more in control of this semester than I did all last semester. The work, while still a heavy load, looks feasible, and it helps that I’m not starting a new job or living in someone else’s home or moving into a new apartment while I try to get the hang of things. By the way, I ended up doing just fine in my classes last semester, so at least all the stress and worry paid off. Hopefully I can accomplish the same thing this time around, but skip all the headaches.

Speaking of headaches, the Constant Headache has finally ceased! I’ve been doing better with my vitamin and mineral regimen so maybe there might be some truth to this health crap. All I know is that it’s a whole different world when you can think clearly!

Speaking of thinking clearly (ha! I’m killing with the transitions today), I’ve been thinking a lot about my future lately. I realized I’m at the point now where all these major things—getting married, buying a house, having kids—that used to be entirely hypothetical or at least waaaay in the future, are now very real possibilities. And likely to happen in the next five years. I know a lot of people my age have already done all those things and more, but for me, I never saw myself doing any of them until I was close to or beyond 30. Well 30 ain’t that far away folks.

Not that I’m setting deadlines for myself, but it’s also true that my life is just getting to a point where those things will probably start happening in the near future. And holy fuck that scares me. Well, maybe it doesn’t scare me so much as shocks me. Shocks me that suddenly here I am, on the verge of being in that place that always seemed so distant and elusive. I thought I’d feel excited and, I don’t know, something other than how I feel about it right now.

I think maybe I just thought that by the time I was 27 I’d feel differently somehow. Hell, maybe 27 is younger than I always thought it was. That’s not a bad thing.

Yesterday afternoon, Brad emailed me to let me know I had received a package from my dear friend Lauren. A package! So unexpected! I got home in the afternoon, ripped it open, and found this:

I love having awesome friends. When I finish reading it, I’m going to let my dad borrow it. I really think he’d enjoy it, he just doesn’t know it yet. Lauren - you’re the awesomest.

I’ve been lacking for content (and motivation) around here, so I kind of got a pity tag from The Ex for this meme. I practically asked to be tagged because I had nothing else to write about. Who does that? I do.

The rules are as follows: Link to the person who tagged you, list 7 random facts about yourself and then tag 7 people.

1. I got the Blake Lewis album for Christmas. It’s the first album of an American Idol alum I’ve ever owned. I loved him on the show, and couldn’t wait to see what he came out with. My review? Eh, it’s decent.

2. One thing that I always managed to prepare well was Kraft macaroni and cheese. Yes I know that’s not real cooking, but I thought I always had a good cheese powder to butter to milk ratio. Then Brad made it one time, and he makes it way better. I was pissed.

3. I graduated number 10 in my class of 176. I got to be in the local paper and in the special section of the yearbook, and I got to wear a special cord at graduation and sit in the front row. None of that means much to me now.

4. I’ve always planned to adopt kids and have no real desire to be pregnant, give birth, blah blah, all that. Yet I have this overwhelming feeling that someday I will be pregnant. Whether this will be by choice or accident, I don’t know, but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s an impending eventuality.

5. As important as I think excercising your right to vote is, I don’t think I’ll vote in today’s Michigan primary. I’m so annoyed with the bullshit of this election already, I want to just ignore it all until November.

6. I may have mentioned this one before, but I’ve never smoked a cigarette. Ever. Not even a puff. Mostly because it’s never had any kind of appeal for me, but now it’s also a little because I’m 27, why ruin the track record? The other day my sister tried to hand me her cigarette, saying “Will you just hold it and put it up to your mouth for a second? I want to see what it looks like.” I considered it for a moment, then decided I just might like the way it feels, and that could be dangerous.

7. I can never spell niece. I always think it’s neice for some reason.

I’m going to punk out on the tagging. I looked through my whole feed reader and pretty much figured everyone would only be annoyed with this. If you want to be tagged, you can always subtley suggest. Like I did.

Didn’t do much this weekend, but somehow it flew by anyway. My car rolled over to 10,000 miles, meaning I’ll never be in the four-digits again. I took pictures, of course, but they’re still chillin’ on the camera. I wanted to see Juno with my friend Robin Friday night, but I asked 10 minutes too late - she had just made other plans.

Instead Brad and I used a gift card to have dinner at Chili’s. We may never return. Our table was uncomfortable, the food was extremely disappointing, and we never got the lemon for our water that we asked for. After dinner, still hungry, we went to Coldstone for dessert. It wasn’t until we had already ordered our Love It with sweet cream, strawberries and raspberries that we saw the sign indicating that they were currently unable to accept debit, credit or gift cards. We had no cash. They gave it to us for free (well for the single dollar we scrounged up and put in their tip jar), but we felt so guilty that we ate it outside in the cold car rather than sit inside. It really was delicious though.

Also, while we waited for our crappy table at Chili’s, which is at the mall, we walked around the corner to Old Navy where I found five sweaters for 30 bucks. I wasn’t planning to shop, but since I wear the same three sweaters to work every week, and since they were only $6 each, I splurged. I’m wearing a yellow one today. It’s snazzy.

Saturday I had my online class. Only it wasn’t online. I had to get up early on a Saturday and sit in a computer lab for two hours while people asked idiotic questions. My online class last semester was pretty cakey, so I hoped for the same this time around. Yeah, no. This course has about five times the work, and I’m not happy about it.

I spent the rest of the day doing stuff around the house until Brad finally got up, and we went grocery shopping. We spent $100 and came home with basically nothing. How does that happen? We also finally took our Christmas tree down, so things are no longer festive around here. In celebration of the non-festivity, I did some homework. On a Saturday.

Sunday was much the same. Homework in the morning, baby shower for a cousin in the afternoon (where I won the Guess the Baby Food game!), homework in the evening. I tried again with Robin on the Juno thing, but she’s mean and ignored my calls all day long. Brad hung a Nerf basketball hoop in our living room and entertained himself with that for a couple hours. It’s really fun trying to read textbooks with a six-and-a-half-foot tall man slam-dunking on his imaginary opponent in the same room. He’s cute though so it’s okay.

I didn’t sleep well last night, but that’s pretty normal these days. We’re in the market for a solution to our bed problem. We could buy a new boxspring and mattress, but I’m a pay-with-cash kind of person, so we’d have to wait until we could save the money. Robin suggested putting some kind of mattress topper over our concrete slab, which I think might be a good temporary solution, but have yet to seriously look into it. Brad’s vote is to hold out for a whole new mattress set, but my vote is for getting a good night’s sleep before next year.

Brad, in an effort to fill his schedule this semester, is taking a news reporting course. I took the same course when I was an undergrad, so I was excited to be able so compare notes. Yesterday I got home and saw that he had been to the University’s bookstore. Laying on top of his pile of books was a shiny new 2007 AP Stylebook. I admit it - I squealed. And then I immediately sat on the floor and spent some quality time with it. My own Stylebook is not only old (2001?), but it’s still packed away somewhere. So I’m delighted to once again have this beautiful reference tool in our home. I imagine myself spending many an evening curled up before the fireplace with a glass of wine, and the AP Stylebook nestled in my lap.

Except we don’t have a fireplace. And I don’t really like wine.

I haven’t been great lately. I kind of lost my luster for life for awhile, and I’m still looking for it. Work has been really busy, and even though I was on a break from school, I felt incredibly uninspired to do anything even kind of productive. Our christmas tree is still standing, ornaments and all. Not because we’re festive like that, but because when we have spare time, I prefer to spend mine reading or sleeping or watching tv, and Brad prefers to spend his on the computer. I’m practically heaving over the thought of returning to class tonight—I have no motivation to get back into all that right now. Don’t worry, I’m not slipping into the greyness* again; I’ve just been severely uninspired in all aspects of life.

Also, I got sick again. Heard of “hot tub rash”? I hadn’t, but that’s what I got all over my body. And it totally sucked the life out of me. I was sore and achey and tired and moved around like a 90 year old woman for five days. On top of that, I haven’t been sleeping well, and the Constant Headache hasn’t fully subsided (though I do get the occasional respite now and then). To combat the Headache, I’m now on a strict regimen, as prescribed by Brad’s stepmom, the natural health guru, of vitamins minerals which I successfully forget to take almost every day.

If I can somehow remember to take them more frequently, maybe that will lead to fewer headaches and slightly better overall health, which will then maybe lead to less time spent in the doldrums, which will then hopefully lead to more inspiration and motivation. I’m pretty sure the root cause of all this is the weather though. Winter is the bane of my existence, and there’s no escaping it where I live. Proof of this theory is that on Monday we got a little taste of spring around here—temps in the 50s and melting snow—and I was downright chipper for a day!

Too bad the weather is back to crummy and awful today, and so is my attitude. Like everything, this will pass. I just have to ride it out… hopefully it’s a short ride.

*I really prefer the g-r-e-y spelling of that word. I think it looks much more sophisticated than gray.

Oh that’s right! I have a blog, I nearly forgot. I haven’t been around much lately, mostly because I just haven’t been feeling it. And instead of writing a whole thing about how I’m not feeling it, I just stayed away for awhile. I’m still not feeling it though, and before I go into that (because hello, who cares?), I’ll quick move on to something else.

I’m switching cell phone providers. I’ve had Cingular (now AT&T) for two years and have never really liked it. Before I moved, I never got service in my apartment, and the phone itself is just a piece of completely unreliable junk. The combination of the shitty phone and poor service had me ready to switch entirely as soon as my contract ended, which happened last month. So yesterday I finally got around to getting something new. But before I get rid of the piece of completely unreliable junk, I salvaged a couple pictures (okay Brad did, because I had no idea how to get them off the phone) which I will now share with you. They’re all different sizes for some reason, but no matter.

That’s the only evidence of me in the hospital with my stomach virus. Lookin’ pretty hot right?

That’s Brad waiting in line for a Wii the night before they came out. Ended up being a waste of time though because we had to go to another store and wait outside anyway.

Look closely and you’ll see my old car being towed away the day it suddenly decided to stop starting. So glad to be rid of that thing.

Here’s Brad showing off some funky shades.

This one is my personal favorite. I so wish it was bigger because I want to make it my wallpaper. I found that in the breakroom at work one day. I swear I didn’t touch the produce before snapping this.

This picture is pretty pointless as you can’t make out what it is at all. But I had to tell the story, and visuals are always fun even if they are worthless. We drove by this almost every day last winter. It’s this blue translucent box in the front yard of a house on a main street. Inside the box is a baby doll, presumably meant to be baby Jesus. With the way the box is lit, you only see the silhouette of baby Jesus though. There’s no Mary or Joseph. No wise men or farm animals. Just a naked baby—not even swaddled—in a box in the front yard. No, not creepy at all.

And there you go! The rest are too dirty or boring to share. I promise I’ll get my blogging mojo back eventually. But until then, feel free to check out my blogroll. There’s some good stuff on there.