Radical v. (another) Traditionalist
Following this conversation over the weekend, Brad was told about the reaction of another relative who was present at the discussion. Now, I’m getting this third person so I can’t vouch for it having actually been said, but assuming it’s true, can I just say ‘blech!’?
Apparently following the conversation, later that evening, this person said, “Wow I didn’t know Shannon was so into women’s lib.”
Which okay first of all, women’s lib? There are much bigger issues in “women’s lib” than me wanting to keep my own last name or even suggesting that my boyfriend consider taking mine. If you want me to demonstrate how “into women’s lib” (or actually feminism) I am, I can provide much better examples. And second, I think it’s a pretty hefty conclusion you made there. I casually suggest the I might consider breaking an outdated tradition of marriage, and you conclude that I’m “so into women’s lib?” I’ve said and done a lot of things that may have lead to this conclusion much sooner, but if this is what made it obvious, then yeah fine, I am so into it.
I have to give Brad major props though. When talking to this relative (the first one—oh how I wish I could just use names) later, he was confronted with this logic (something I’ve heard so many times now that my head may combust if I hear it again): well it’s just a last name and if a woman loves a man enough to marry him then it shouldn’t be a big deal for her to take his. Brad’s response: well if a man loves a woman enough to marry her then it shouldn’t be a big deal for him to take her last name either.
You go baby!
August 14th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Nice one Brad.
August 14th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Thanks, number-one Doahleigh-ite!
August 15th, 2007 at 11:23 am
Go Brad!
Seriously, stories like this make me hate people. Last summer I was helping a friend stuff her wedding invitations and we were talking about various other weddings. She mentioned that her cousin was hyphenating her last name because “she was one of those womens libbers.” I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t heard the phrase “womens lib” since learning about suffrage in the fifth grade. And womens lib was about giving women the right to vote! I have a feeling that some of these crazies would give that right away if they could. Blech.
August 15th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
I have 2 male friends who actually went ahead and did it, both because they had absentee fathers who they did not feel connected to or proud of and they wanted to start a new history with a new name - their wives’.
August 19th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
its so amazing to me that time seems to make no headway on this issue … my mom still has her maiden name and the abuse she got over that is shocking!! i kept mine during my first marriage and wow did people ever freak out about it …. then during my second marriage i opted to take his name and use mine as a middle name ~ and wow, the flak i got about taking his name …. lol. i think people are never happy with what you as a couple decide ~ blah!
we should all be more supportive of each other’s very personal and thought out decisions … sorry you had such difficult conversations with people … hug!!