A woman’s responsibility?
The recent issue of Cosmo tells me that I’m not supposed to wear anything too comfortable to bed or Brad might stop loving me.
“Once you’re a couple, it’s easy to fall into bed wearing sweats and an old tee shirt…but it makes the bedroom a less magical place.”
It goes on to say that I should pull out those teddies from our dating days (wait, what if I didn’t have those?) and also buy some new sexy pieces.
“Every night offers another opportunity to look, if not fantastic, at least a little special.”
Okay, so I guess I’m supposed to do this every night in order to assure that Brad stays in love with me. And apparently a teddy alone isn’t enough to be fantastic, that only makes me “a little special.”
Finally, Cosmo says I’m supposed to hide my lingerie from Brad to keep it mysterious and alluring. I shouldn’t dare let any sexy teddies come in contact with my grungy sweatpants.
Now, I’m pretty confident Brad loves me despite what I wear to bed, but Cosmo is a young woman’s bible right? I better heed its advice.
Therefore I plan to purchase 30 new pieces of lingerie, one for each night of the week. The sluttier the better because slutty is sexy right? And I’ll buy a cute little pink box with a crystal-studded padlock to ensure that my lingerie remains extra mysterious and sexy.
Also, I know it’s bad for my complexion, but I plan to redo my makeup right before bed each night. I wouldn’t want Brad to be reminded that I’m not naturally fantastic and special. And lastly, I’ll have to wear stilettos to bed too. It’s not very practical, and Cosmo doesn’t explicitly suggest it, but I figure if I’m going to move from “a little special” to “fantastic,” I better give it a little something extra. I may accidentally stab Brad with my heels in the middle of the night, but he’ll just have to deal with a bleeding puncture wound if he wants me to remain sexy and lovable forever.
You know what else works in keeping the bedroom a magical place? Have sex every single night. I dont’ understand why every couple doesn’t do that.
Also… it’s okay if you save the lingerie for the weekend. Every night isn’t economical. Also… an old T-shirt can be great lingerie if you wear it right and have the proper attitude.
It’s never about the lingerie grabbing a man’s attention. It’s about the way the girl looks at the man. Lingerie doens’t need to be present to have that look, but it helps a lot of girls get into that “come hither” mode.
Makeup is always a bad idea. Never wear it. A little lipstick is fine once in a while, but all that foundation and stuff just looks silly to me.
Heels… no thanks.
Ha ha ha! You make me laugh!
I say, if he’s ok with it, who cares.
I had one guy tell me he’d forgo the teddies. All he needed was his woman to put on a man’s dress shirt, button one button, and jump out and surprise him from the closet. “Nothing beats that,” he said.
Every man has his own opinion.
i hit every emotion with this post ~ anger and outrage at the recent issue of cosmo and cosmo in general and then outright laughter at your handling of it : )
very effective!
Jason, you know I’m being sarcastic right?
Ummm. yeah. I almost went with the “that sounds great! Every girl should do this!” post (Just to be an asshole), then I rethought it after typing it out. Completely kidding doesn’t come across over the internet tubes. It just looks like I’m an ass, and I think my reputation on your blog is bad enough as it is.
So yeah. I was more just pointing out that cosmo is stupid to say that lingerie every night is necessary if you want a happy man. The makeup and heels comments… I have no clue why I put them in.
Thanks Jason. I knew you were a better man than that, I just wasn’t sure everyone else would realize!