My friend Robin and I met for dinner tonight. At the restaurant, we were seated in this small closet-sized “room” that was closed off on three sides. The “room” had only two tables and about enough space between them for a skinny person to sidle through.

About five minutes after we sat down, a young couple was seated at the table next to ours. The cramped quarters seemed to necessitate an introduction, or at least an acknowledgement of the awkwardness. Instead, I spent the next half hour watching them out of the corner of my eye as they fondled each others’ hands and cooed endearing words over their potatoe skins and beer.

The more they fondled, the smaller our closet seemed to get. Why the nearly-enclosed space with only two small tables? Why seat us with this overly affectionate couple? By the time we had finished our meal I was convinced that the restaurant staff had intended for us all to have an orgy. Which obviously would have been impossible with only the three walls.

We may be willing to get it on with people we’ve never met. But certainly not with total strangers watching.