Candle lady
For some reason this weird lady came to one of my work meetings today to talk about candles and candle capers… whateverthefuckthoseare. She was kind of standing in the middle of the room while she talked, and in between boring words like “burns for 65 hours” and “two capers for 15 dollars” she kept apologizing for having her back to people. As if we expected her to have two fronts. Yes, usually our guest speakers have two faces so nobody feels left out.
And then, as if I didn’t hate her enough with her candles and capers and her only one front, she started mispronouncing simple English words. Which she didn’t apologize for; just her lack of a second face.
specific=pacific
pumpkin=punkin
floral=fleural
mulberry=mawberry
Then I pushed her out the window so she’d stop talking.
(God why am I such a people-hating bitch?)
Update: I just looked it up, and it’s capper, not caper you crazy candle lady! Add that to the list.
September 13th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
Ok..so I’m confused. A woman came into your work meeting to sell you candles and capers? Was this a planned distraction? Now those home party people are interrupting work time to try and sell you shit? I think that’s a little out of hand!
Actually..on that same note in one of my Advertising classes in college we had some college student come in and talk about Mark (that weird division of Avon), complete with catalogs and her phone number and email in case you wanted to place an order. I was a little pissed that I went to class that day.
September 14th, 2006 at 7:37 am
She was presenting it as a fundraising opportunity for our student groups and such. But she still totally trying to sell to us. Hate her.
September 14th, 2006 at 7:15 pm
Um, you didn’t tell me about this. What in the world was this for??!
September 14th, 2006 at 7:16 pm
Okay yeah… Just meant to type that in another window. Oops. (Wish you could delete comments here!)
Anyways, I’m SOOO with you on this candle bullshit.
September 14th, 2006 at 7:50 pm
I hate her too. For you. So today at work we had a shower for this girl who just had a baby, and it was like a potluck type thing. So this lady brought in those damn frozen cream puffs! You know…like the eclairs (I actually think we had them at Bon’s rehearsal dinner), and I’m not even kidding you..I had to have eaten 13!!! They’re so damn good..she had just taken them out of the freezer, and they were like soft serve ice cream in a puff. Amazing. I totally understand your desire now
September 19th, 2006 at 2:07 pm
Just had to take a second to laugh at/with lindsay for the IM window mistake. I hate that! I always have a ton of windows open, sometimes talking to multiple people at once and then I type something meant for someone else in the wrong window! You’re lucky it wasn’t something more private.