Men always try to make women feel inferior because they can’t pee standing up. As if the ability to accurately aim a urine stream makes them far more advanced than those of us that have to sit. It never occurs to them that maybe women prefer to sit down in the bathroom. I suppose some women are a little envious of this natural difference, but for me, I’ve always rather enjoyed the sit-down method. When I’ve had a little too much to drink, nothing is better than plopping down on a toilet. Seriously, if I had to stand at a urinal, I’d probably pass out. But sitting and peeing is the most relaxing and wonderful thing in that moment.

Plus, even in sobriety, the sit-down method leaves our hands free to do so many other things. Bite our cuticles, rearrange things on the sink, adjust our ponytails. Our hands aren’t distracted by the holding and directing of certain organs.

Maybe it’s because I’m lazy, but I honestly much prefer sitting down. Actually, 99% of the times I pee, I’m glad I’m a girl. But yes there are certain occassions when a girl wishes she could just stand and get it over with: the nasty public restroom at the middle-of-nowhere gas station; the traffic jam with no restroom in sight; backwoods camping.

Or when you’re sitting in a restroom in the Phoenix airport, happily peeing after holding it all through check-in and security, and suddenly, without reason or warning, the automatic flusher activates and your nether region is being sprayed with public restroom toilet water. What can you do? You’re in mid-stream so you can’t stand up without dripping all over yourself and your clothes. You can’t make the flusher stop. You just have to cringe, get as much of your ass out of the way as possible, and wait for the toilet water to stop spraying.

Bu hey, at least I didn’t have to worry about other people sneaking a peek at my stuff over the indiscreet walls of a urinal!