How to find the perfect pair of khakis (as demonstrated by Brad):

1. Purchase any khakis on sale. Make sure they have a good fit.
2. Wear khakis to wedding with girlfriend.
3. During wedding, sneak off with girlfriend. Drive down the road and have a quick “session” in the car.
4. When pulling pants back up, rip a large hole in khakis near the crotch (not on a seam).
5. Untuck shirt in attempt to cover large hole.
6. Sneak back into wedding, have girlfriend explain that you have a large hole in your pants from dancing too hard.
7. Leave wedding.
8. Stash khakis away in closet.
9. Find khakis four months later when you have another formal occassion to attend.
10. Take khakis to the department store you bought them from (without receipt).
11. Show large hole to saleswoman.
12. Lie. Say you just bought them recently and they ripped the first time you tried to pull them on.
13. When she tells you that you may make an even trade for another pair, accept offer.
14. Search store for the same brand of khakis.
15. When the saleswoman tracks you down to tell you that the store does not carry that brand of khakis, scoff at her.
16. Argue with saleswoman because you are sure you bought them there.
17. Eventually decide to buy a different pair.
18. Change in the middle of the parking lot (outside of the car) because you are late for formal occassion.
19. Drive to formal occassion.
20. While walking into formal occassion with girlfriend, try not to be embarrassed when a strange lady announces to you and everyone around that you still have a tag on your ass.
21. Rip tag off.
22. Proceed to formal occassion and look stunning all night long!