I rhymed! 

I was a cranky bitch yesterday. Brad was too, so we kept clashing. We actually got in a fight about who was cutting the cheese. Except we were talking about actual cheese. Sharp cheddar! He kept eating all the cheese I was cutting, without cutting any himself, and when there was one piece left that neither of us wanted, I threw it away. You should have seen the horror in his face. He had visions of stinking rotting cheese in his trash can for the next month. This is the man who leaves his ice cream bowl in our room until it grows its own set of toes. His nightstand is an array of pop cans and beer bottles at various levels of emptiness. He once left a bowl of salsa on the desk until it had turned to a thick Mexican paste. Oh but that piece of cheese. I obviously went too far.

Also regarding food, a few months ago we ordered chinese from the aptly named China Garden down the street. We ordered lo mein and chow mein, and what we got was a carton of delicious noodles and a tub of wet onions and green leaves. Unsure which was which, I looked up images of both online and found nothing even remotely resembling the slop we had been served. So last night when we wanted chinese again, we convinced ourselves it must have been a mistake on the Garden’s part. So.

We ordered the exact same thing. And.

We got the exact same thing.

We weren’t smart enough to take a picture before we deposited it in the trash, but I assure you it looked nothing like this:

So I need help. We’re still not clear on the difference. We ordered lo mein in another restaurant once and got something that looked like the above (except with chicken and not those unidentified brown chunks). But that is supposedly an image of chow mein. What the hell? Any chinese-american cuisine experts out there?