We went to a birthday party this weekend. It was a grown up birthday party with a fully stocked open bar in the basement and an eager tender. His specialty was butt sex. The drink. I don’t know if he actually ever made a round of butt sex, but he couldn’t stop talking about it. And neither could anyone else.

Because what’s funnier than anal intercourse? Nothing apparently! The continual banter went something like this: You want a drink? I’ll make anything. How about butt sex? [laughter] Oh, well you’ll have to clear that with my wife upstairs. [laughter] And so on with every new guest that arrived.

Know what else is funny? Jokes about alcohol. “Keep ‘em coming! Or you could just hook me up to an IV.” Oh how we laughed. Alcohol. Fed directly into your blood stream! This is the stuff of true comedy people.

And just in case these jokes don’t get you through a party, always keep a can of spotted dick in your purse. Apparently it’s some kind of canned sponge cake. Or something. That was the birthday boy’s gift from one particularly witty young lady. Throughout the evening I heard random references to spotted dick, and always, always, it was followed by a chorus of laughter.

These are the keys to adult party humor my friends.